5 Kama Sutra Positions for the Elastically Impaired
Everyone’s heard of the Kama Sutra. A popular topic of conversation at bridal showers and spawner of a million pop-culture references, the world’s most-fun ancient book describes sex positions that are usually regarded as laughably impossible. Even the traditional paintings depicting those positions can make partners seem less like erotic artists and more like victims of a fatal car crash (something about all those backwards-bending elbows). Here’s the good news, though. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be a human Gumby to experiment with the Kama Sutra. In fact, there are at least five positions that even the least flexible among us can enjoy.
1. Clasp On, Clasp Off. Here’s a Kama Sutra position that you can enjoy even if you consistently failed the Presidential Fitness Test back in grade school. In the “clasping position,” one partner lies directly on top of the other with their legs straight and pressed together. After penetrating their partner, the “top” rocks up and down gently. This is one of the more intimate Kama Sutra sex positions, as it allows partners to kiss, caress and stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. It’s also been said that putting the legs in this pose can really tighten things up (if you know what we mean). Although this position is traditionally depicted with a man on top and a woman on bottom, you can always switch roles or adapt the move to meet your needs. Actually, that goes for most of these sex positions.
2. Feeling Hard-Pressed. This position comes in two flavors, the “pressed position” and the “half-pressed position.” Don’t let the name scare you away – all the pressure applied here will be pleasurable. But to avoid the need for chiropractic care, try the half-pressed position first. This pose is similar to the clasping position, but instead of keeping both legs straight, the partner on the bottom raises one leg and rests it on their lover’s shoulder. In the full pressed position, they raise both legs. The change in angle will give each partner a new sensation, but you don’t need a diagram to enjoy this easy sex move.
3. The Land of Milk and Water. Looking for a way to fill that annoying gap between Desperate Housewives and Pan Am? With this Kama Sutra position, you don’t even need to leave the La-Z-Boy. The “milk and water position” requires one partner to sit in a chair with their legs spread apart while the other partner sits in their lap, facing away. This allows the bottom partner easy access to their lover’s erogenous zones. Start out with some foreplay. You can even bring your Lelo Soraya in on the action if you like. When you’re ready for penetration, have the top partner bounce up and down for added oomph. You’ll experience some serious orgasms, no warmup stretches required.
4. A Tiger in the Bedroom. The “tigress” Kama Sutra pose might already be familiar to you. It’s very similar to the “reverse cowgirl,” one of those positions that Cosmo constantly renames in an attempt to convince readers that their editors have just “uncovered” it (as if sex positions can be unearthed like ancient Mayan relics). For this move, one partner straddles the other, facing away. As they lower themselves to the point of penetration, the partner on top reaches back to rest a palm on their lover’s chest. This lets the top partner control the depth of the penetration as well as how quickly they move. Their companion gets to lie back and enjoy the ride.
5. Wide Open Spaces. The “widely opened” position allows less-flexible lovers to experience the Kama Sutra without the fear of ending up in traction. In this pose, one partner lies on their back while the other kneels, facing them. The bottom partner wraps their legs around the other person, arching their back and pushing upwards with their hips. Women love to be on the bottom for this easy sex position because the angle guarantees maximum pleasure, and in all the right spots. It also leaves room for clitoral access, so who’s to say you can’t incorporate your Lelo Soraya into this position too? Vātsyāyana, the original author of the Kama Sutra, didn’t have the option of using a vibe or dildo in 400 BCE, but we’re pretty sure that if he were around today, he’d be into it.
The truth is, you don’t need to be some type of sexual spider monkey to enjoy the Kama Sutra. Even those who aren’t exactly loose-limbed can expand their repertoire of sex positions with these easy moves. So what are you waiting for? Roll back the sheets, light some candles and get ready to expand your erotic horizons. But you know, it wouldn’t hurt to stretch first. Just in case.