5 Resolutions to Improve Your Sex Life

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Paris Intimates

Let’s face it, your sex life could have used a little work last year. Yet when making your New Year’s resolutions a few weeks back, you probably overlooked your lackluster love life and instead swore off the fast food drive-through for the tenth year in a row. If you’re reading this with one hand stuffed in a french fry container, it’s time for a reality check. It’s nearing the end of January, and you’ll never stick to a resolution if it isn’t fun. So what’s more fun than having sex? We’re giving you an honorary do-over with permission to ditch your current resolution for one with a much bigger payoff. Trade your empty promises for one of these naughty resolutions and have the best year ever in 2012.

That's what I call a toy box!

1. Revamp your toy box. It’s time to give that grown-up Erector Set a much needed upgrade. So if you’re still using the dildo you bought the day you turned 18, trade up to a Lelo Soraya. You’ll be amazed at what a new motor and a variety of vibes can do for your sex life. And don’t stop there – your Fleshlight seems like it’s seen better days too. As a matter of fact, are their any toys in your bedroom that don’t look like they survived the Reagan era? When you’re using toys that are older than your relationship, it’s no wonder you’re getting bored. This year, resolve to up your game by upgrading your toys.

2. Schedule weekly romance. Maybe you and your partner work different schedules. Maybe you’re both so stressed that when you do have free time you just spend it inside on the couch. The magic of a relationship can fade for a variety of reasons, but if your idea of romance is sharing a Snuggie while watching “The Bachelor,” it’s time to reevaluate. This year, resolve to make time for romance. Schedule a day every week for just the two of you. Try going on your first date all over again, or go and have dinner at that new French bistro in town. Whatever you do, take time to reconnect. When you do, you’ll unwind and form an even deeper bond. That connection will follow you into the bedroom, where you’ll find the spark you thought you’d lost. Trust us, this is one resolution that will pay off for both your relationship and your sex life.

Sexy workout outfits are optional, but recommended.

3. Remember to sexercise. Okay, so you used your gym membership once in January and never went back. Maybe the problem wasn’t the workout – maybe it was your drive. Yeah, fantasizing about rock-hard abs might be enough to get some people through that door every week, but we suggest something else: try motivating yourself with sex. The right exercises can really up your stamina and skills (and we aren’t just talking about kegels, ladies). Ask yourself this: which muscles give out on you right when you need them the most? Make a resolution to build up those muscles through weight training, then watch as your sex life improves. For most people, the target muscles would include the glutes, the quads and all the muscles in the trunk. But hey, you could be pulling some crazy moves for all we know, so do what’s best for you. Not only will you perform better, but you’ll also look even hotter in those homemade sex videos. Bonus!

4. Shake up your routine. Déjà vu doesn’t belong in the bedroom. If you have trouble telling your last five or so romps apart, you could be the victim of a scripted sex life. Try this: resolve to add some variety to your sex life in 2012. This doesn’t mean you have to buy a cheerleader’s uniform or adopt some weird fetish involving corned beef hash. It just means you have to challenge yourself to think a bit outside the box. An easy way to add variety is to have sex in a room you’ve never gotten dirty in before. If you or your partner has a private office, you could even take your show on the road. What about new positions? In a recent post, we taught you five Kama Sutra poses that even the least-flexible among us can try, so you can always start there. Or you could take the Lelo Soraya that you usually keep all to yourself and bring your partner in on the fun. Whether you try one of these ideas or all of them, you’ll definitely ditch your dull routine.

Everyone loves a good dick pic.

5. Talk dirty. Talk more. This resolution isn’t just about issuing naughty commands while having sex, although nothing says that can’t be part of it. It’s about establishing a sexual dialogue with your partner (or partners) that’s clear and consistent. Does your partner call you a pet name in the heat of the moment that you just can’t stand? Do you have a secret fantasy you’ve been dying to act out? Whatever’s on your mind, if you can find a way to express your feelings tactfully and honestly, your sex life can only improve as a result. After you’ve opened the lines of communication, have some fun. Send your partner a “thinking of you” text that gives them something steamy to imagine in the middle of a long work day. Send an email detailing what you plan to do to them when they get home. By the time you see each other, you’ll be worked up and ready to play. Its a fun and easy way to improve your sex life and create an even deeper bond.

Look, no one’s saying they don’t believe in you, but there is a reason why you own five dusty workout machines, right? Most people don’t stick to their New Year’s resolutions because the ones they choose are, well – pretty boring. Give yourself a fighting chance this year by swapping out the same old promises for something that will improve your sex life. Trust us, when you’re having sex that’s better than ever, all your less-than-perfect habits will seem much less important anyway. 

Posted in Featured Posts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

5 Kama Sutra Positions for the Elastically Impaired

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Paris Intimates

Everyone’s heard of the Kama Sutra. A popular topic of conversation at bridal showers and spawner of a million pop-culture references, the world’s most-fun ancient book describes sex positions that are usually regarded as laughably impossible. Even the traditional paintings depicting those positions can make partners seem less like erotic artists and more like victims of a fatal car crash (something about all those backwards-bending elbows). Here’s the good news, though. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be a human Gumby to experiment with the Kama Sutra. In fact, there are at least five positions that even the least flexible among us can enjoy.

Nothing like a little light reading before bed.

1. Clasp On, Clasp Off. Here’s a Kama Sutra position that you can enjoy even if you consistently failed the Presidential Fitness Test back in grade school. In the “clasping position,” one partner lies directly on top of the other with their legs straight and pressed together. After penetrating their partner, the “top” rocks up and down gently. This is one of the more intimate Kama Sutra sex positions, as it allows partners to kiss, caress and stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. It’s also been said that putting the legs in this pose can really tighten things up (if you know what we mean). Although this position is traditionally depicted with a man on top and a woman on bottom, you can always switch roles or adapt the move to meet your needs. Actually, that goes for most of these sex positions.

2. Feeling Hard-Pressed. This position comes in two flavors, the “pressed position” and the “half-pressed position.” Don’t let the name scare you away – all the pressure applied here will be pleasurable. But to avoid the need for chiropractic care, try the half-pressed position first. This pose is similar to the clasping position, but instead of keeping both legs straight, the partner on the bottom raises one leg and rests it on their lover’s shoulder. In the full pressed position, they raise both legs. The change in angle will give each partner a new sensation, but you don’t need a diagram to enjoy this easy sex move.

High five for a job well done!

3. The Land of Milk and Water. Looking for a way to fill that annoying gap between Desperate Housewives and Pan Am? With this Kama Sutra position, you don’t even need to leave the La-Z-Boy. The “milk and water position” requires one partner to sit in a chair with their legs spread apart while the other partner sits in their lap, facing away. This allows the bottom partner easy access to their lover’s erogenous zones. Start out with some foreplay. You can even bring your Lelo Soraya in on the action if you like. When you’re ready for penetration, have the top partner bounce up and down for added oomph. You’ll experience some serious orgasms, no warmup stretches required.

4. A Tiger in the Bedroom. The “tigress” Kama Sutra pose might already be familiar to you. It’s very similar to the “reverse cowgirl,” one of those positions that Cosmo constantly renames in an attempt to convince readers that their editors have just “uncovered” it (as if sex positions can be unearthed like ancient Mayan relics). For this move, one partner straddles the other, facing away. As they lower themselves to the point of penetration, the partner on top reaches back to rest a palm on their lover’s chest. This lets the top partner control the depth of the penetration as well as how quickly they move. Their companion gets to lie back and enjoy the ride. 

Let's save this move for the professionals.

5. Wide Open Spaces. The “widely opened” position allows less-flexible lovers to experience the Kama Sutra without the fear of ending up in traction. In this pose, one partner lies on their back while the other kneels, facing them. The bottom partner wraps their legs around the other person, arching their back and pushing upwards with their hips. Women love to be on the bottom for this easy sex position because the angle guarantees maximum pleasure, and in all the right spots. It also leaves room for clitoral access, so who’s to say you can’t incorporate your Lelo Soraya into this position too? Vātsyāyana, the original author of the Kama Sutra, didn’t have the option of using a vibe or dildo in 400 BCE, but we’re pretty sure that if he were around today, he’d be into it.

The truth is, you don’t need to be some type of sexual spider monkey to enjoy the Kama Sutra. Even those who aren’t exactly loose-limbed can expand their repertoire of sex positions with these easy moves. So what are you waiting for? Roll back the sheets, light some candles and get ready to expand your erotic horizons. But you know, it wouldn’t hurt to stretch first. Just in case.

 

Posted in Featured Posts, Sex Tips | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Top 5 Weirdest Sexual Fetishes

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Paris Intimates

When it comes to fetishes, there really is something for everyone. Are you into role playing as a pack animal? Does the idea of someone stomping on a Reuben sandwich get you all hot and bothered? Or are you one of those people who claims they don’t have any fetishes? (Those people usually turn out to be the kinkiest of all.) If you’ve tried some things like light bondage and weren’t that impressed, maybe you just haven’t found the right fetish. Join us as we take a walk on the wild side with the top 5 weirdest sexual fetishes. Who knows, you might just discover one that’s right for you.

I think we just discovered the hidden meaning behind Big Pun's hit single.

1. I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. Crushing: it’s not just something 12-year-old girls do when they talk about Justin Bieber. A crush fetishist is a person who gets aroused by watching someone literally crush things with their feet. Sex videos of crushing will show objects from birthday cakes to giant beetles being squished without mercy. Unfortunately, some people take it way, way too far. Believe it or not, the the Animal Crush Video Prohibition Act is a real thing, and President Obama signed it. (Feel free to use this fact to spice up boring political conversations.)

2. Now that’s what I call a “stable” relationship. Caution: after learning about this fetish, you may never be able to look at My Little Ponies the same way again. Ponyplay is a subset of bondage culture based around role playing. Practicers of ponyplay are basically humans who pretend to be ponies. As far as fetishes are concerned, this one is pretty involved. There are special harnesses, bridles, saddles and even boots that replicate hooves. There are also training techniques and a variety of roles to play. Some ponyboys and ponygirls pull carts, some give rides and some compete in shows. Of course, someone has to train and groom these ponies too. The expert we consulted on the matter took so long to explain the details that he even got a little hoarse.

Steampunk polar bear not included.

3. Oh baby! Oh baby! Do you ever wish you could return to a simpler time? Back when you didn’t have to go to work, didn’t have to pay bills, didn’t have to feed yourself or use a toilet … Oh sorry, did we lose you there? If you’re perfectly fine with wiping your own behind, infantilism might not be the fetish for you. Infantilists, or adult babies, are exactly what they sound like – grown adults who enjoy role playing as infants. Serious adult babies require caregivers, extra-high high chairs and a large assortment of giant onesies. As far as role playing fetishes go, this one’s actually pretty tame. In fact, many adult babies claim there’s no sexual aspect to the practice at all, just a need to unwind and feel nurtured.

4. The other other white meat. Have you ever fantasized about having a sexy guy or gal over for dinner – literally? Or would you rather be the main course yourself? That’s the big idea behind vorarephila (or “vore” for short). Vorarephilliacs get turned on by the idea of eating alive, or being eaten alive by, another human. Unlike most fetishes, this one obviously can’t be carried out (unless you’re a character on American Horror Story). For that reason, practitioners of vore have to resort to erotica, pictures, sex videos or games that simulate the experience. Fans of vore often practice other fetishes as well, such as bondage or macrophilia (a sexual fascination with giants). If you’ve always gotten turned on by the story of Little Red Riding Hood, maybe this is the fetish for you. Of course, intimate pictures of the Jolly Green Giant seem a little more reasonable. That’s a sentence we never suspected we’d utter.

I really, really love lamp.

5. The object of your desire. In our materialistic society, it’s easy to get a little emotional over objects. From a vintage Ford Mustang to the newest iPad, almost every one of us has an item we go gaga over. Objectum sexuality (or “OS”) takes that feeling a step further. Practicers of OS have actual relationships with objects, believing that they share a romantic connection much like two humans do. These objects can range from the small (like a fence post) to the enormous (like the Golden Gate Bridge). Although some objectum sexuals have human relationships, most consider the connections they have with objects to be their primary partnership. One of the most famous members of OS culture even married the Eiffel Tower. That’s a pretty big commitment to make to a partner that lets thousands of Frenchmen inside of them every day. Perhaps we’ve found a new spokeswoman for Paris Intimates?

Although these are some of the weirdest fetishes out there, they’re just the tip of the iceberg. We didn’t even have time to talk about mudlarking or splooshing – we’ll save those for another day. Maybe all this talk of men in diapers and role playing ponies has sent you running back to your vanilla love life. Maybe it’s turned you on. Hey, we don’t judge. Just remember to stop back and share your experiences in a comment below. In the world of fetishes, there truly is something for everyone.

Posted in Bondage, Featured Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 Strange Sex Stories of 2011

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Paris Intimates

Think you have a weird sex life? Unless your year involved midair penetration, surprise toe sucking and a murderous bear, you may want to check yourself. For sexcapades that make headlines, you’re going to have to really up your game in 2012. Don’t believe us? Check out the top ten weird sex stories of 2011. If you’re aiming for a spot on the strange sex list, you’ve got some pretty tough competition.

Can you be a doll and give me a ride?

10. A Flood of Embarrassment. In January, severe storms caused serious flooding in Australia. Many citizens were caught off guard, including one teenage couple who made sex news headlines with their foxy flotation device. It turns out that blow-up dolls make better gag gifts than life rafts. The two were rescued, but not before journalists immortalized their great escape on film.

9. News That Sucks. In Conway, Arkansas, police received two complaints in a single week about a man they’re calling the Toe-Sucking Bandit. The first call came from an 83-year-old woman, who was reclining on her porch when the man approached. He complimented her feet, yanked off her shoe and began sucking her toes. Days later, a young woman in a grocery store reported being harassed by a man who complimented her “long succulent toes.” The strange sex news had women from Conway to Little Rock opting out of open-toed shoes and boasting boots instead.

8. A Fatal Blow to the Head. Kasia Rivera of New Jersey is facing manslaughter charges for botched penile injections that led to one man’s death. As part of her off-the-books medical practice, Rivera injected silicone into a young man’s penis. The man died from silicone embolism one day later – a steep price to pay for a spot on 2011′s strange sex story hall of fame.

7. Meanwhile, at the Boneyard … A 39-year-old woman made sex news headlines after a romp in the cemetery landed her in the ER. The woman was getting down and dirty in the graveyard when a tombstone toppled and landed on her leg. The owners of Ahavath Israel Cemetery in New Jersey decided not to press charges, much to the relief of the woman. She’d had enough to deal with without having to pay a stiff fine.

"Well, she started it."

6. Don’t Mess With a Girl Who’s “Strapped.” One Florida woman faced felony charges in August after she tried to lay the smackdown with a strap-on. Police responded to a domestic dispute when Tamara Cadet accused Jantavia Taylor of chasing her with a knife. Further investigation revealed that the weapon of choice was not a knife, but a “female sex toy” that Taylor chucked at her girlfriend as she fled the house. Luckily, no one was injured, and no Lelo Soraya  toys were harmed in the making of this weird sex story.

5. Putting the Cum in Cum Laude. Austrians gave the term “oral exam” a new meaning in 2011 when they opened the International Sex School in Vienna. One semester at the school costs £1,400, but the lessons pupils learn (and the memories they make in their co-ed dorm rooms) will last a lifetime. No word yet on whether the school offers skill-based scholarships, but there’s no harm in practicing just in case.

4. Whipping Up a FAPpuccino. For many people, 2011 was about setting goals and making dreams come true. For one New Yorker, that dream was to masturbate in every single Starbucks in New York City (298 in total). The man, who called himself Mr. PeePee, even documented his solo sessions and rated them on a blog and podcast. The public, largely unimpressed with this strange sex fetish, were mostly just disturbed to discover that there are that many Starbucks in NYC.

3. More Than He Could Bear. A Cleveland man was found dead in a rather compromising position in July of 2011. Sam Mazzola, 49, was discovered chained to his waterbed, covered in chains and padlocks and wearing a leather bondage mask. Mazzola died from choking to death on a sex toy. A year prior, he’d made headlines when one of his pet bears mauled and killed a local woman. Clearly, he wasn’t a big fan of safety manuals.

2. Toys For Twats. This strange sex story has a charitable twist. A Houston-based escort named Shelby went by the name “Santa’s Little Helper” this season when she offered a one-of-a-kind deal to potential Johns. Any “client” who brought an unwrapped present to donate to Toys for Tots got a special BOGO deal – buy one hour, get a half hour free. Now that’s what we call a hooker with a heart of gold.

The coolest people alive. Period.

1. Pretty Fly for a White Guy. When bald eagles mate, they fly thousands of feet in the air, lock talons and copulate as they plummet towards the ground. When humans try to do the same, they land themselves in first place for the weird sex news stories of 2011. Skydiving instructor Alex Torres and his partner Hope Howell may have lost their jobs for their decision to make a skydiving sex tape, but do you really think they care? They had sex while jumping out of an airplane. If you ask us, they’re all-American heroes.

It’s sure been a wild year for sex. Human beings are nothing if not inventive, and when they apply that capacity for innovation to their love lives, it’s no wonder we end up with so many strange sex news stories. If all of these weird sex headlines happened in only one year, what can we expect from 2012? Only time will tell. Until then, rest assured that even if your love life seems a little “out there,” there’s always someone who’s got you beat.

Posted in Bondage, Featured Posts, Public Sex | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

5 Sexy Games to Play When You’re Snowed In

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Paris Intimates

Remember what it was like to be snowed in as a kid? Knowing you could stay home all day and play made you feel like you’d just won the weather lottery. Set free from math lessons and cafeteria-table politics, you peered through your frosted bedroom window at a glittering white diorama of possibility. It’s time to experience that sense of wonder and excitement once again. When you’re snowed in this winter, don’t resign yourself to just watching C-Span and getting a jump-start on your taxes. Get the fireplace crackling and fill the long afternoon with sexy games instead. Who knows? You might discover something new to keep you warm all winter long.

When your wife asked you to "take a crack at shoveling the walk" this is not what she had in mind

1. Truth or bare. Strip poker is one of the most well-known sexy games of all time, so there’s no need to explain how this game starts. Actually, no, that’s not correct – men might need some help getting the ball rolling. Guys, gather a group of snowbunnies and play a few hands of regular cards together. Provide cocktails. At the right moment, raise the stakes by saying something like “You know what’s more fun? Strip poker.” Tease any noncompliant snowbunnies by challenging their manhood. When there are no articles of clothing left, switch up your strategy and begin an all-nude round of truth or dare. Take turns challenging each other with provocative questions and dares. Anyone who refuses to comply has to “bare all” to old Jack Frost (say, by crafting a snow angel or running to the mailbox in the buff). Have fun, but be careful. Your neighbors are likely snowed in too, so you may want to think twice before jingling your bells up and down the cul-de-sac.

2. Tied up treat. Instead of chowing down on holiday leftovers in front of the TV, why not use those tasty treats to whet your appetite for holiday sex? Remember all those bondage techniques we taught you? Now’s the time to put your skills to use. Grab a partner (or partners) and then take turns blindfolding and feeding each other samples of the holiday fare. You can even use your box of holiday chocolates to play a sweet and spicy guessing game. Have your blindfolded partner guess the contents of each treat by smell alone. Award yourselves with something sinful for every correct guess and offer up a pleasing punishment for every mistake. After some teasing and spanking, don’t be surprised if you find yourselves rolling around and covered in fruitcake.

deathtrap or sexual wonderland?

3. Ice ice baby. The icicles hanging from your porch can do so much more than threaten to impale you as you step out to fetch the mail. Snap off an icy spike and bring it inside to play some sexy games. Bind your partner and trace the icicle gently over his or her body to tease and tantalize. Using a warming lube is a great way to give some special spots an alternating taste of hot and cold. If you really want to get your partner worked up, bring your Lelo Soraya into the action and turn up the heat with some good vibrations. When your partner’s to the point where they can’t take anymore, untie them so they can repay you with some hot holiday sex.

4. Roll the dice. Forget Angry Birds. There’s a whole host of iPhone apps to rescue yourselves from a boring, snowy day on the sofa. Download Love Dice or any of a number of sexy games from the iTunes store to rekindle dwindling passions or warm up to someone new. The giddy uncertainty of these adult games will remind you of the first time you played spin the bottle. Show off all the moves you didn’t have at your first coed sleepover. Maybe you’ll even learn something new. You never know what the dice will decide!

the things we can make sexy astound even us

5. Snowsuit strip. Remember being forced as a child to don seven layers of snow gear before running outside to enjoy a snow day? It’s time to relive that memory, but with a sexy new twist. For this game, you and your partner put on as many layers of winter wear as you can manage. Once you’re decked out from cap to snow boots, race to see who can get naked first. Battle it out to see who gets “serviced” before the other, or even play for dibs on your favorite toy like the Lelo Soraya. One thing’s for sure – you’ll have some spicy memories to keep you warm the next time you need to really bundle up. Just try not to smile creepily as you shovel the sidewalk, okay?

Unlike a three-hour Monopoly marathon, with sexy games everybody wins. So the next time you wake up to find your car buried in a snowdrift, don’t get upset. Remember that long-ago view through your frosted bedroom window. See if you can’t recapture that same spirit once again. You always knew how to be both naughty and nice, but now that you’re older, the games are a lot more fun. Happy Holidays from Paris Intimates!

Posted in Bondage, Featured Posts, Sex Tips | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Charles Aznavour & Liza Minnelli
Le Temps

Posted on December 17, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

The Top 10 Myths About HIV and AIDS

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Paris Intimates

Sometimes it seems that the myths and misconceptions about HIV and AIDS spread even faster than the virus itself. December is National AIDS Awareness Month, and there’s no better time to shed some light on the truth behind HIV. Familiarize yourself with the following myths and learn about HIV prevention. The more you know about this sexually transmitted disease, the safer you’ll be.

The Myths

1. You can get HIV or AIDS from causal contact. This is perhaps one of the most widely believed myths about HIV and AIDS, but the virus can only be transmitted through semen, vaginal fluid, blood or breast milk. So kissing someone with AIDS, hugging someone with HIV, sharing a drink with someone who has the virus – none of these forms of causal contact put you at risk.

2. There’s a cure. Many victims of the virus are so desperate to get healthy that they fall prey to con artists who offer them a cure. In choosing alternative therapies, some patients forgo traditional treatments and can even make themselves sicker as a result. Researchers are getting closer to finding a cure every day, but until they do, victims of the virus shouldn’t trust alternative therapies.

3. Only gay men and drug users get aids. It’s this myth about HIV that causes so many people to write off the idea of safe sex, putting them at great risk for exposure. The HIV virus doesn’t care about your age, your race or your sexual preference. If a virus can get into another host, it will – that’s all it does, and that’s why it’s here. There’s no specific group of people that get HIV and AIDS, and your social or sexual identity doesn’t make you immune.

4. Mosquitoes can infect you. Even in areas where mosquitoes swarm and AIDS is common, this myth about HIV and AIDS is simply untrue. People fear that because the virus is spread through the blood, blood-sucking insects can act as carriers and infect people through a bite. However, there is no scientific evidence that suggests that insects like mosquitoes can infect humans with the virus through a bite.

5. You can tell if a person is HIV positive. The only way to know that you or your partner don’t have HIV or AIDS is to get tested often. Individuals can have the virus and not show symptoms for a very long time, even though the virus is active and contagious. Never assume you can tell that a potential partner is negative, and always practice safe sex to protect yourself.

6. If you’re both positive, there’s no need for protection. Even if two partners are both HIV positive, they should still use protection and practice safe sex. Why? Because by not practicing safe sex, they risk exposing each other to new and potentially treatment-resistant strains of the virus.

7. Seniors don’t have to worry about HIV. This common myth about HIV is the reason seniors are one of the fastest growing groups of people infected with HIV. Seniors assume that since they can’t get pregnant, there’s no need for protection. But when seniors don’t use condoms, they make themselves even more susceptible to this sexually transmitted disease.

8. You can’t get HIV from oral sex. Although the risk of infection is lower than with anal or vaginal sex, if you have oral sex with someone who is HIV positive, it is possible that you can contract the disease. To protect yourself, practice safe oral sex. Use a condom or latex barrier.

9. Women with HIV can’t have children. Although late-stage AIDS patients can become infertile or risk miscarriage, women with HIV and AIDS can still have children. If proper medical procedures are followed (delivering via C-section, abstaining from breastfeeding and administering certain drugs to the mother and child, for example) then the risk of the child becoming HIV-positive drops to as little as two or three percent.

10. HIV does not cause AIDS. Some believe that the span of time between HIV infection and the appearance of AIDS is reason to believe that one does not cause the other. Others cite symptoms similar to other diseases and claim that the causes of AIDS lie elsewhere. Similar to myths about HIV cures, this myth is responsible for stopping many who are infected from receiving proper treatment. Although this myth isn’t as widely accepted as some of the others, its propagation can be just as harmful.

The war on AIDS needs to be fought with knowledge, not just medicine. Like any sexually transmitted disease, AIDS is preventable. The more we understand about this deadly disease – and the more easily we are able to separate fact from fiction – the easier that fight will be. Observe National AIDS Awareness Month by sharing this list with your friends and family and helping to spread the truth about HIV and AIDS.

Posted in Featured Posts, safe sex, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

La Bionda
One for You, One for Me

Posted on December 8, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

The Top 5 Weirdest Sex Injuries

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Paris Intimates

It’s human nature to try to go boldly where no man has gone before. Our species has a lust for adventure and innovation that has led us to explore the deepest oceans on the planet and even walk on the moon. Unfortunately, when we take that enterprising spirit into the bedroom, things don’t always work out so well. The people below thought their bright ideas would earn them a gold medal in sex. Instead, those ideas landed them in the weirdest sex injuries hall of fame.

Tim does not approve, but Al seems kind of into it.

Saw VI – The Director’s Cut. Although it seems like a scene from a horror movie, one Maryland couple says it “seemed like a good idea at the time.” In 2009, a Maryland woman was airlifted to the hospital after her boyfriend decided to go all Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor on her special cabinet. When most couples grow tired of their dildos, they usually choose to upgrade to a high-quality model like the Lelo Soraya. This couple decided to MacGyver themselves a high-powered toy instead. The woman was wounded after a power saw that had been attached to her dildo cut through her toy to do some downstairs remodeling of its own. The woman’s injuries were severe, but luckily she made a full recovery and was released from the hospital later that week.

Bums Away. If this list of weirdest sex injuries were to include every person who’s ever gotten a mystery item stuck in their back door, it would look a lot less like a blog entry and a lot more like a novel. There’s a reason why toys designed for anal pleasure include wide bases or rings – because powerful rectal muscles can contract upon orgasm. One minute, you’re going to town with your favorite matchbox car. The next moment it’s up, up, and away!  Other notable bum blockers include: wine bottles, tree branches, zucchinis, neon light bulbs and even a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup. If you ask us, these sex injuries could have easily been avoided by playing with a Lelo Oden instead – it boasts 50 times the pleasure of your standard vegetable at only one fifth the price of the average X-ray.

Not for use on private carpets.

The Hoover Damn. If you catch your man Hoovering in the nude, you may want to plan an intervention before it’s too late. Yes, pristine bedroom carpeting can tempt you to turn a blind eye to this exceedingly odd behavior, but unless you make a move now, you’re man’s manhood might get mangled. Because although 90% of men treated for vacuum-related penile lacerations report that they were “just cleaning,” 100% of hospitals report that men are terrible liars. Yeah, that Hoover’s siren song can be sweet, but the truth is that sometimes machine love hurts. Tiny blades inside vacuums meant to chop up dust bunnies can do impressive damage to a curious man’s member. If you’ve seen your man making eyes at the Orek, you might want to pawn the thing – the appliance, not your man – and surprise him with a Fleshlight instead.  Well, okay. Maybe just pawn your man too.

The Kiss of Deaf. One of the weirdest sex injuries happened to a couple before they even made it past foreplay. During a particularly hot kiss, a Chinese woman lost her hearing. As Dr Li, the woman’s ear specialist, told the China Daily newspaper, “In this case, the kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear.” It sounds like a hefty price to pay just for a smooch. The woman made a recovery after several months, but for a while, her man’s pleas for forgiveness fell on deaf ears.

Don't try this at home- especially if you have large windows.

Wii Play – and Play, and Play. UK native Amanda Flowers brought a new meaning to the term “Wii Play” with her bizarre gaming-induced sex injuries. It’s fairly common for Nintendo Wii users to incur bodily harm, but Flowers suffered from more than just a strained tendon or a bruised bone. After falling from the Wii platform, Flowers injured a nerve, which induced a constant state of arousal. The disorder is called “persistent sexual arousal syndrome,” and for Flowers, even minor vibrations (like those produced by cell phones) can trigger an orgasm. To some of us, this may seem like a windfall. But just think about trying to sit through a funeral. Imagine breaking up with your boyfriend. You can see why doctors call it a disorder and not a super power.

There are so many ways to have sex, and there are just as many ways to get hurt doing it. While owning a quality toy (like the Lelo Soraya) can go a long way towards preventing weird sex injuries, those with even the purest of intentions can fall prey to bizarre accidents. Our little list of weird sex injuries should give you pause the next time you’re undressing that Orek with your eyes. Before you let your curiosity get the best of you, treat yourself to something that will end your day with an orgasm, not a trip to the emergency room.

Posted in Featured Posts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Jennifer
Do it for Me

Posted on December 4, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

Give Her What She Actually Wants: 5 Sex Tips from Women

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Paris Intimates

If the following scene seems familiar, we think it’s time you started taking sex tips from women. You covered the motel bed with roses. You wore your black satin boxers. You even had an instrumental version of Boyz II Men playing softly in the background. You thought your plan would bring her to her knees. Instead, it sent her running for the door. Look, it’s not your fault. When it comes to sex tips for men, most of the information you’ll find is written by men who are just as confused as you are. Take these sex tips from women and you’ll save yourself some embarrassment — and earn a lot more gratitude from the special lady in your life.

Save a little mystery for the second course

1. Foreplay begins when you pick her up. Foreplay doesn’t start when you’re already naked. In fact, it starts much, much sooner. Your conversation on the phone, your actions at dinner, the way you interact as you walk her home — if you start viewing these actions as foreplay, you’ll have a lot more success once you’re finally in the sack. But slow your roll there, Fabio. We’re not talking about massaging her thighs while you wait for the waitress to refill your never-ending bread bowl at the Olive Garden.

We’re talking about what foreplay is actually about: slowly creating a feeling of relaxation, intimacy and sexual interest. If you want to induce that feeling in your lady, try these tips. Maintain eye contact when she’s speaking to you. Let her help make the plans and decisions for the date. Ask her open-ended questions about her day and make brief non-sexual contact a few times throughout the date (like putting your hand on hers for a moment as you’re talking). A woman who feels like you’re interested in her but still respectful of her personal space will be much more relaxed and intrigued. Continue reading →

Posted in Featured Posts, Sex Tips | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Sexy Summer Rain

Posted on November 24, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

5 Holiday Sex Positions to Jingle Your Bells

Posted on November 23, 2011 by Paris Intimates

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: you’re off from work, there are free baked goods everywhere, and people are socially obligated to buy you things – but sadly all that shopping and planning can sometimes leave little time for holiday sex. We’d hate to see your sex life become as monotonous as a Charlie Brown Christmas Special marathon, so we’re here to help. Check out these holiday-inspired sex positions we dreamed up just for you. Hey, don’t say we never gave you anything.

1. Deck the Balls. Old Saint Nick shouldn’t be the only one who gets a midnight snack in your house this year. For this move, gentlemen, head over to the kitchen and make use of your holiday leftovers. Coat your balls by dipping them in eggnog and decorating them with some red and green sprinkles. Head over to the bedroom to present your partner with a festive treat that’s just as hard as a store-bought fruitcake, but twice as delicious. They get a second helping of dessert, and you get an orgasm. It’s a win-win! Of course, you could always look at this as an appetizer to ignite an appetite for even more fun.

2. Secret Santa. If you’ve been following our posts on bondage techniques, you already know a little something about blindfolds. This holiday, have your own private gift exchange after everyone else has gone to bed. Our Sportsheets  Sexy Slave Kit and Lelo Soraya vibe are just the tools you’ll need for this fun and festive surprise. Bind your partner with wrist and ankle restraints and use the kit’s blindfold to create an air of mystery. Tease your partner with the kit’s feather tickler and use the Lelo Soraya to bring her to orgasm. While she’s distracted, secretly don a Santa mask and hat. After she orgasms, remove the blindfold and yell, “Surprise, you just got screwed by Santa!” Continue reading →

Posted in Bondage, Featured Posts, Sex Tips | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Demis Roussos
We Shall Dance

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

5 Sexy Gifts to Give Yourself This Holiday

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Paris Intimates

When it comes to holiday gifts, you can’t always get what you want, especially if what you want is dildos or a fleshlight. You’re much more likely to receive a pair of snowman socks from your secret Santa than something that will really keep you warm at night. We took a peek at your secret wish list and decided that since you’ve been so nice this year, you deserve something a little naughty. So go ahead. Treat yourself to these five presents this year and we guarantee you’ll be jolly all year round.

1. Pink bnaughty Wireless Vibrating Bullet. If you’re tired of the wires on you vibrator getting in the way of your play, treat yourself by upgrading to the Pink bnaughty Wireless Vibrating Bullet. The bullet comes with a handy cord, making retrieval easy. The wireless control can be operated from up to twenty feet away and even work through walls. Imagine all of the games you could play with a partner! You could even buy two and have the sexiest game of tag you’ve ever had. Whether you’d like to adventure out with your bullet, say, to the most “exciting” day of Black Friday shopping ever, or just relax before bed, this bullet is the perfect gift to give yourself.

2. KamaSutra Getaway Kit. Are you using some of those hard-earned days off for a romantic getaway? We have the perfect travel companion: the KamaSutra Getaway Kit. The kit includes French Vanilla Creme Body Souffle, Vanilla Creme Oil of Love, Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust with a feather applicator, Love Liquid water-based Lubricant and a Romance Candle. So much in such a little package! The best part is that all products in this kit are sized at under 3.4 oz, making them carry-on friendly. Even if you’re snowed in with a house full of relatives, you and your partner can create your own exotic escape just by locking the bedroom door and opening up your KamaSutra kit. Give yourself this gift today and share the romance with someone you love. Continue reading →

Posted in Featured Posts, Guy sex toys | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Gayest Fight Scene Ever

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

4 Fun Games for Bondage Experts

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Paris Intimates

If you’ve been following our latest posts on bondage techniques, you’ve probably had your hands full for the last few weeks. So far we’ve taught you how to introduce bondage to your partner, how to have safer sex with safe words, and even how to select toys for some fun and exciting bondage games. While we’re sure we’ve given you a lot to think about, the fun doesn’t stop there. This week we’d like to dive even deeper and share some advanced bondage techniques with you. Read on to discover fun new ways to whip some excitement into your love life.

Power Play

Although it sounds like a tactic used by ladder-climbing middle managers, power play is a lot sexier than that. Trust us. Power play, or power exchange, is all about submitting to another person. It can be something as simple as one partner calling the other “Master” or “Mistress” in the bedroom while practicing bondage techniques, or it can involve a more public acknowledgment. Some couples will even have a public collaring ceremony where they make a lifelong pact for one partner to have complete control over, and even micromanage, the life of the other. (It sounds a lot like marriage, but with more leather.)

Of course, to enter into these types of scenarios or relationships, clear roles need to be established. Some partners even draw up contracts beforehand to ensure safer sex and clear communication. It might seem like a lot of work, but when you and yours are picking out monogrammed dog collars, it will all seem worth it. Continue reading →

Posted in Bondage, Featured Posts | 1 Comment

Demis Roussos & Charles Aznavour
Que C’est Triste Venise

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

Intermediate Bondage: Happiness in Slavery

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Paris Intimates

Hello there. We hope you’ve had a stimulating week – and with the beginner’s guide to bondage techniques we posted last time, how could you not? In that guide, we showed you how to introduce the idea of bondage games to your partner, how to have safer sex by using safe words, and how to begin bringing bondage into your bedroom. We trust you’ve been practicing, and we’d like to reward your hard efforts with even more fun ideas. So check out these four fun toys and try them out yourself – that is, if you aren’t too tied up.

Something so arresting

Last week we talked about using light restraints like bondage tape. This week, we’d like to step it up a notch. When it comes to bondage techniques, cuffs should be a staple of your toolbox – and we aren’t talking about the ones that you decorate with those cheesy dollar sign cuff links. (Seriously, how many times do we have to beg you not to wear those to the club?) Cuffs come in many shapes and sizes, from “awkward bridal shower gift” fuzzy black to “dungeon master” leather. Personally, we advise trying out the leather cuffs first. They tend to be the most comfortable, and since they fasten with buckles instead of tiny, easy-to-lose keys, there’s less of a chance that your cousin’s boyfriend Stew the locksmith will find you in a compromising position. Remember, sex without miniature keys is always safer sex. Continue reading →

Posted in bondage sex toy, Featured Posts, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

LL Cool J
Doin’ It

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

How to Tie Him Down Without Scaring Him Off: A Beginner’s Guide to Bondage

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Paris Intimates

So you want to try bondage. Maybe something’s missing from your missionary. Maybe your Netflix queue confusing Secretariat for Secretary put some new ideas into your head. Hey, we’re not judging. We’re behind you, and we want to help! Admitting you’re turned on by the idea of trying out bondage techniques might be easy, but actually taking that idea from your brain to the bedroom might seem a bit harder. This could have something to do with the misconception that bondage games are just for creepers who drive windowless vans. Not true! Bondage can be a great addition to any sex life, and you don’t have to own a leather wardrobe to enjoy it.

Oh my. This certainly isn't "Secretariat."

That said, when it comes to introducing bondage to your partner, there’s a right way to go about things and a wrong way. While the right way can open up a whole new world of romping, the wrong way can send your partner running for the hills. Since you’re new here, we’ve decided to point out some common mistakes and set you on the right track.

“Surprise honey, I built us a dungeon!”

What better way to introduce bondage techniques to your partner than to build them a surprise dungeon while they’re away on a business trip? Who wouldn’t love to come home to find the basement converted to a medieval torture chamber? “Is that an authentic iron maiden? Oh honey, you shouldn’t have!” Continue reading →

Posted in bondage sex toy, Featured Posts, Sex Tips | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Freddy’s Nightmares

Posted on October 24, 2011 by Monsieur

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

The Top 10 Sex Toys for Men (Of All Time)

Posted on October 21, 2011 by Paris Intimates

As we transition from warm and summery to cold and blustery, we men often find ourselves spending more time indoors and feeling the pangs of cabin fever induced loneliness. Instead of just sitting on the LoveSac, watching Star Trek marathons and stuffing our faces with Slim Jims, we should take some time to read up on some sex tips for men and expand our ability to either play solo or with our significant other, ultimately helping us to become world-class lovers.

We don’t want you to feel overwhelmed with all of the choices out there, as the world of sex toys for men involves more than just huge dildos for her or the Fleshlight for us dudes these days. So, let me present to you: The Top 10 Sex Toys For Men!

10.  The LoveHoney Sqweel – While at first glance this may look like a toy meant specifically to stimulate a woman’s clitoris, it is in fact an incredibly effective sex toy for men. Stepping out of the traditional sex toy box, the Sqweel features a rotating wheel of ten, soft, delectable silicone tongues meant to lick at you rapidly and effectively. Yes, I said ten tongues. Dwell on that sexual mind melt for a second, gentlemen, and then please continue on.

9.  The Nexus G-Play – While some of you may be scared of entering the world of buttplugs, you must trust us that this is an incredible device that no man should ever miss out on (or at least try once, you scaredy cat pansy). Continue reading →

Posted in Featured Posts, Guy sex toys | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

French Fries
Laquisha (Feat. Taiwan)

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Monsieur

French Fries – Laquisha (Feat. Taiwan) from Youngunz on Vimeo.

Posted in YouTube | Leave a comment

Zombie Sex: A How-To Guide

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Paris Intimates

Attention all you walking, crawling and – is that skipping? – skipping dead. Grab a pair of ears and listen up. Just because you’re no longer human doesn’t mean you’re free from human wants and needs. As you’ve repeatedly demonstrated, you still need to eat, you still sort of communicate with one another, and most importantly, you still need sex. That tingling you feel in your crotches isn’t just the worms moving around. It’s your body crying out for the one thing it needs more than human flesh – sweet, sweet zombie sex.

Now, somewhere between dying and being reanimated you seem to have forgotten how to actually get busy getting busy. But don’t worry. We knew you’d have some catching up to do, so we prepared this helpful how-to guide on the ins and outs of zombie sex. If you’ve got a pen handy – or even a finger with some blood left in it – get it ready. You’re going to want to take notes. Continue reading →

Posted in Featured Posts, meme, Public Sex, Sex Tips | Leave a comment