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Author Archives: Jane
Intimate Video Review: Lelo Ina
Picture it: Sicily, 1922. A pair of erect bunny-rabbit ears rapidly smack either side of your clitoral hood while a warty rubber robo-dick swivels around in your vag like a malfunctioning kitchen appliance. …or did that happen back in St. … Continue reading
Lelo SIRI vs. Lelo Gigi: Phallic vs. Non-Phallic Vibrators
The Lelo SIRI vibrator stands out from other Lelo “pleasure objects” and indeed many other sex toys because of its non-phallic shape. By “non-phallic,” I mean that the design of the SIRI does not resemble a penis. This can be … Continue reading
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: How to Clean Your LoveHoney Sqweel
After reading my last write-up on the Sqweel, you felt an uncontrollable urge to try horizontal ten-tongued auto-erotic cunnilingus. You promptly went to Paris Intimates and ordered a Sqweel to call your own. You removed three AAA batteries from your … Continue reading
Sqweel Sex Toy Inspires New Oral Sex Technique
Still a little uncertain about my new assignment to review the Sqweel, I decided to talk it out with my best friend. When I arrived at her house and saw that her and her boyfriend were sitting around a fire … Continue reading
Introducing… THE SQWEEL
When I saw that the new sex toy I had to review was the Sqweel, I thought someone was fucking with me. The Sqweel is the craziest sex toy I have ever seen. With the cap on, it looks like … Continue reading
Lelo SIRI Vibrator Intimate Video Review
The SIRI is the most powerful Lelo vibrator as of yet. Interestingly, it’s also small enough to fit in your palm and has a remarkebly quiet motor. The Lelo SIRI is only $59.95 at Paris Intimates, which is $10 less … Continue reading
How to Make Yourself Ejaculate Using the Lelo Ella
Is it me, or is there something condescending about these sex toys? Thanks to the medical imaginary, it’s difficult enough trying to navigate my vagina–why does the adult novelty industry have to make it worse? Diagrams of female reproductive and … Continue reading
Lelo Ella Video Review
When it comes to the Ella, my snatch is no match. Watch the battle:
100,000 Statistics • Pleasure Tape
Lately I’ve been pretty concerned with the backlog of unprocessed rape kits that have been rotting in the hands of the Detroit Police Department. It’s been over two years since they were found in the now-closed police crime lab, and … Continue reading
The Pleasure of Combat
Pleasure Tape
In one of my favorite pieces of cultural criticism, Tania Modleski shows that traditional gender roles of powerful/masculine and submissive/feminine are maintained lesbian bondage and sadomasochistic activity for the purpose of contestation. One of the reasons that I like Modleski’s … Continue reading
Our Toys, Ourselves
Intimate Review of the Lelo Gigi
What the world needs now is not more vibrator reviews. Although I’m just a baby on the sex toy review scene, I’m already bored with the content produced by my contemporaries. Regular readers must have motion sickness from the oceanic … Continue reading
Lelo Gigi Review
Pre-Review Confession: The Lelo Gigi is the best vibrator I have ever used. This has far less to do with the actual product than it has to do with my historically stingy ways. Besides my Gigi (which I received for … Continue reading
