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The Top 10 Sex Toys for Men (Of All Time)

As we transition from warm and summery to cold and blustery, we men often find ourselves spending more time indoors and feeling the pangs of cabin fever induced loneliness. Instead of just sitting on the LoveSac, watching Star Trek marathons and stuffing our faces with Slim Jims, we should take some time to read up on some sex tips for men and expand our ability to either play solo or with our significant other, ultimately helping us to become world-class lovers.

We don’t want you to feel overwhelmed with all of the choices out there, as the world of sex toys for men involves more than just huge dildos for her or the Fleshlight for us dudes these days. So, let me present to you: The Top 10 Sex Toys For Men!

10. The LoveHoney Sqweel – While at first glance this may look like a toy meant specifically to stimulate a woman’s clitoris, it is in fact an incredibly effective sex toy for men. Stepping out of the traditional sex toy box, the Sqweel features a rotating wheel of ten, soft, delectable silicone tongues meant to lick at you rapidly and effectively. Yes, I said ten tongues. Dwell on that sexual mind melt for a second, gentlemen, and then please continue on.

9. The Nexus G-Play – While some of you may be scared of entering the world of buttplugs, you must trust us that this is an incredible device that no man should ever miss out on (or at least try once, you scaredy cat pansy). While we guys usually focus mainly on our ‘little buddy’ up front, we far too often forget that our other pleasure button is actually located within the backdoor. There are amazing anal toys for both men and women that aren’t just floppy huge dildos – and this is one of them. The Nexus G-Play provides incredible prostate and anal stimulation, it is easy to clean and the vibrating action gives intensely pleasurable orgasms. Oh, and just like the Sqweel – your girlfriend can use it as well. And as your creepy uncle always told you, couples that share sex toys together stay together!

8. Fleshlight – Original Pink Lady – Ah, the Fleshlight. The world has changed so much for the better since this delectable soft silicone hoo-ha with an ergonomic grip entered our lives. Before the Fleshlight we suffered through a word of unrealistic and poorly designed fake vaginas, mouths and anuses. Fleshlight changed this and set a standard that is nearly unmatched in terms of excellence (and that’s saying quite a bit for a faux vagina). If you have never used one of these, you are absolutely missing out on one of the greatest self-gratification experiences known to man. While there are now many variations in both color, texture, orifice and style – we hold a soft spot for the original.

7. The Ophoria V-Ring – The cock ring: One of the oldest and greatest sex toys in the history of man. If you have used one of these before you can attest to their ability to keep even a sleepy (read: tipsy) man hard and ready all night long. While cock rings of the past only focused on keeping a man erect, new models like the Ophoria V-Ring have combined their erection boosting ability with a nicely textured mini-vibe designed to stimulate a female partner’s clit, thus making your sexual experience all the more powerful. And what man on earth wouldn’t want more power? The Ophoria V-Ring could only be improved if it had a pull-start engine.

 

6. The Standard Innovation We Vibe II – My god. This thing is amazing. The We Vibe II is designed so that it stimulates a female both clitorally and vaginally at the same time. Or, it can also be used to give simultaneous vaginal and anal stimulation. But, it doesn’t stop just there. While your female partner has the wireless and rechargeable We Vibe II inserted in her you can also penetrate her with your penis. The vibrations from the front and the back of the toy travel through your partner stimulating you at the exact same time creating explosive, excellent orgasms for both of you. And if you’re playing solo, the whole toy can be wrapped around the head of your penis for a wonderfully tantalizing sensation. Options: the We Vibe II gives you many – and you’re really only limited by how vanilla your imagination is.

5. Sportsheets Sex In The Shower – Finally. For far too long almost every vibrator in existence was shaped like a penis. Now, this may come as a shock to the rest of the sex toy world, but not every guy on earth wants to rub a huge vibrating penis against his own to achieve orgasm. Also, with phallic devices being so oddly shaped you lose focus of the most important part of a vibrator for a man: the vibrations! The Sex In The Shower mini-vibe has its vibrations coming from a direct pulsating source AND it’s entirely waterproof. That means you can play with it in the shower by yourself, or as we prefer, with a couple of friends in a Vegas hotel room hot tub.

4. Lelo Toys’ Lelo BO – This is a cock ring on performance enhancing drugs, and we’re here to testify! Made of very flexible material and with a really nice weight to it, the Lelo BO takes every sexual experience and kicks it up a notch. The large end of the ring contains an effective vibrator that can be placed at the top of the penis to stimulate a partner clitorally or vaginally, or you can swivel it around so the pleasurable vibrations echo through your scrotum sending you into overdrive. This toy keeps you rock hard and makes you and your partner have intense orgasms. What else could you ask for in a vibrating cock ring?

3. Nexus iStim Electro Stimulator – Hello and welcome to the future of sex – glad to have you with us on the tour. This toy’s concept is going to be completely new to a lot of you, so let us explain this in a way that will be easy for all guys to understand. Have you ever seen a sci-fi porn where the robotic sexy mistress can stimulate a guy to orgasm just by placing her metallic cybernetic fingers near his erogenous zones? Well, that’s now much closer to being a reality. The Nexus iStim uses what is called a TENS machine (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator for us nerds) to deliver tiny electrical impulses to important nerve areas of the body through small adhesive pads placed on your skin or via connections with other related iStim toys. Trust me, you’ve never felt anything like it. Well, unless you’re from another planet…

2. The Picobong Tano – This is a magical little buttplug, and we’re not ashamed to say so. The Picobong Tano takes everything we have come to love and expect from a male buttplug, and then turns the volume up to 11. If you’ve never used a male vibrating P-spot toy before, you won’t believe the sensations you will receive from this thing. Angled perfectly to stimulate the male prostate, this toy feels both comfortable and erotic at the same time. So do you like mind-melting orgasms that leave you in a blissful exhausted heap? Uh yeah, you’re gonna love this.

1. Lelo Toys’ Lelo Oden – There are few times where a toy is made entirely for both members in a relationship to use equally, and that is exactly what this is. An egalitarian orgasm giver, the Lelo Oden is the king of male sex toys. Featuring wireless and motion-sensitive technology, this is beyond anything you have ever used before. Featuring a built-in accelerometer (like your smart phone) it can sense directional changes in the wireless remote you can hold in your hand (or mouth!) while pleasuring both yourself and your partner. It can also be used as a solo toy allowing you to manipulate the vibrations you experience without ever having to flick a switch. It is completely waterproof, rechargeable, and it looks like a work of modern art. Hands down, this is the best sex toy out there today for couples, men and women. What’s not to love about that?

They say sex is the greatest deterrent to Seasonal Affective Disorder, so take this coming time indoors as an opportunity to brush up on some sex tips for men, use this little list we here at Paris Intimates have revealed to you, and give yourself the absolute hottest winter ever (even if you’re too broke to turn the heat on). With so many choices available to you, there’s something for every guy to enjoy – so go get busy, and teach yourself some new tricks.

After all, if you want to play well with others, you’ve got to play well by yourself first, right?

 

 


 

Give Her What She Actually Wants: 5 Sex Tips from Women

If the following scene seems familiar, we think it’s time you started taking sex tips from women. You covered the motel bed with roses. You wore your black satin boxers. You even had an instrumental version of Boyz II Men playing softly in the background. You thought your plan would bring her to her knees. Instead, it sent her running for the door. Look, it’s not your fault. When it comes to sex tips for men, most of the information you’ll find is written by men who are just as confused as you are. Take these sex tips from women and you’ll save yourself some embarrassment — and earn a lot more gratitude from the special lady in your life.

Save a little mystery for the second course

1. Foreplay begins when you pick her up. Foreplay doesn’t start when you’re already naked. In fact, it starts much, much sooner. Your conversation on the phone, your actions at dinner, the way you interact as you walk her home — if you start viewing these actions as foreplay, you’ll have a lot more success once you’re finally in the sack. But slow your roll there, Fabio. We’re not talking about massaging her thighs while you wait for the waitress to refill your never-ending bread bowl at the Olive Garden.

We’re talking about what foreplay is actually about: slowly creating a feeling of relaxation, intimacy and sexual interest. If you want to induce that feeling in your lady, try these tips. Maintain eye contact when she’s speaking to you. Let her help make the plans and decisions for the date. Ask her open-ended questions about her day and make brief non-sexual contact a few times throughout the date (like putting your hand on hers for a moment as you’re talking). A woman who feels like you’re interested in her but still respectful of her personal space will be much more relaxed and intrigued.

Hope they bought the souvenir keychain...

2. Find her comfort zone. One of the most important sex tips from women is to remember this motto: no two ladies are created equal. Some women dream of making love on a roller coaster and reaching orgasm while they’re upside down. Some women just want to smooch and spoon. You just don’t know what any given women will like in bed, so don’t go in there acting like you do. Pick up on her cues, and if you’re completely in the dark, come right out and ask. The single most important aspect of pleasing a woman in bed is making sure that she’s physically and mentally comfortable. The more relaxed your lady is, the more excited she will get.

3. Stress your strengths. Just as every lady is unique, all men have their own sets of strengths (and weaknesses) in the sack. Be realistic about what you can and can’t do in bed. Don’t try to make love like a Chinese acrobat if you aren’t even capable of touching your toes. Don’t try out moves that failed to satisfy in the past in hopes that this time you somehow magically get it right. Just cut it out. Do what you’re good at, and if you’re not sure what that is, ask your lady. If she’s up for it, you could even follow our beginner’s guide to bondage techniques and have her order you around. If you have her choose the acts, you’ll find out all of the moves she likes best.

4. Make her the priority. This is one of those sex tips for men that might sound familiar. You’ve probably resented the cliché of “ladies first” ever since you were old enough to attend a pizza party, but hear us out. Once out of every, say, four times you hit the sack, go in there with this mindset: you aren’t in it for the orgasm. This doesn’t mean you have to completely deny yourself. It just means that you take the focus off of the male orgasm and put it on her pleasure. This could mean different things for different couples, but one thing’s for sure. You’ll give your love life more variety and your lady some much deserved TLC.

actually really annoying when trying to make pots

5. Above all, be genuine. Please, for the benefit of women everywhere, don’t try to recreate a sex scene you saw in a movie. Yes, this means returning that pottery wheel you bought on Craigslist — because despite what you may think, you are no Patrick Swayze. If your sex life is nothing else, it should be genuine. There’s nothing wrong with throwing a little spice into the mix every now and then, but if you’re more worried about costume changes and lighting than you are about your lady’s actual orgasm, don’t be surprised if she calls it quits before intermission. If fuzzy handcuffs and scented candles are truly you, then go for it. If they’re not, stick to what feels genuine for you. Any lady can tell when you’re putting on a show.

There you have it Romeo. We hope you and the lady (or ladies) in your life will benefit from these sex tips from women. Let us know in a comment below if your new moves garner you more adoration than the sex tips from men you’ve followed in the past. Change can be scary, but trust us, she was never a big fan of those “special occasion” boxers anyway.

 

 


 

5 Resolutions to Improve Your Sex Life

Let’s face it, your sex life could have used a little work last year. Yet when making your New Year’s resolutions a few weeks back, you probably overlooked your lackluster love life and instead swore off the fast food drive-through for the tenth year in a row. If you’re reading this with one hand stuffed in a french fry container, it’s time for a reality check. It’s nearing the end of January, and you’ll never stick to a resolution if it isn’t fun. So what’s more fun than having sex? We’re giving you an honorary do-over with permission to ditch your current resolution for one with a much bigger payoff. Trade your empty promises for one of these naughty resolutions and have the best year ever in 2012.

That's what I call a toy box!

1. Revamp your toy box.  It’s time to give that grown-up Erector Set a much needed upgrade. So if you’re still using the dildo you bought the day you turned 18, trade up to a Lelo Soraya. You'll be amazed at what a new motor and a variety of vibes can do for your sex life. And don’t stop there – your Fleshlight seems like it’s seen better days too. As a matter of fact, are their any toys in your bedroom that don’t look like they survived the Reagan era? When you’re using toys that are older than your relationship, it’s no wonder you’re getting bored. This year, resolve to up your game by upgrading your toys.

2. Schedule weekly romance. Maybe you and your partner work different schedules. Maybe you’re both so stressed that when you do have free time you just spend it inside on the couch. The magic of a relationship can fade for a variety of reasons, but if your idea of romance is sharing a Snuggie while watching “The Bachelor,” it’s time to reevaluate. This year, resolve to make time for romance. Schedule a day every week for just the two of you. Try going on your first date all over again, or go and have dinner at that new French bistro in town. Whatever you do, take time to reconnect. When you do, you’ll unwind and form an even deeper bond. That connection will follow you into the bedroom, where you’ll find the spark you thought you’d lost. Trust us, this is one resolution that will pay off for both your relationship and your sex life.

Sexy workout outfits are optional, but recommended.

3. Remember to sexercise. Okay, so you used your gym membership once in January and never went back. Maybe the problem wasn’t the workout – maybe it was your drive. Yeah, fantasizing about rock-hard abs might be enough to get some people through that door every week, but we suggest something else: try motivating yourself with sex. The right exercises can really up your stamina and skills (and we aren’t just talking about kegels, ladies). Ask yourself this: which muscles give out on you right when you need them the most? Make a resolution to build up those muscles through weight training, then watch as your sex life improves. For most people, the target muscles would include the glutes, the quads and all the muscles in the trunk. But hey, you could be pulling some crazy moves for all we know, so do what’s best for you. Not only will you perform better, but you’ll also look even hotter in those homemade sex videos. Bonus!

4. Shake up your routine. Déjà vu doesn’t belong in the bedroom. If you have trouble telling your last five or so romps apart, you could be the victim of a scripted sex life. Try this: resolve to add some variety to your sex life in 2012. This doesn’t mean you have to buy a cheerleader’s uniform or adopt some weird fetish involving corned beef hash. It just means you have to challenge yourself to think a bit outside the box. An easy way to add variety is to have sex in a room you’ve never gotten dirty in before. If you or your partner has a private office, you could even take your show on the road. What about new positions? In a recent post, we taught you five Kama Sutra poses that even the least-flexible among us can try, so you can always start there. Or you could take the Lelo Soraya that you usually keep all to yourself and bring your partner in on the fun. Whether you try one of these ideas or all of them, you’ll definitely ditch your dull routine.

Everyone loves a good dick pic.

5. Talk dirty. Talk more. This resolution isn’t just about issuing naughty commands while having sex, although nothing says that can’t be part of it. It’s about establishing a sexual dialogue with your partner (or partners) that’s clear and consistent. Does your partner call you a pet name in the heat of the moment that you just can’t stand? Do you have a secret fantasy you’ve been dying to act out? Whatever’s on your mind, if you can find a way to express your feelings tactfully and honestly, your sex life can only improve as a result. After you’ve opened the lines of communication, have some fun. Send your partner a “thinking of you” text that gives them something steamy to imagine in the middle of a long work day. Send an email detailing what you plan to do to them when they get home. By the time you see each other, you’ll be worked up and ready to play. Its a fun and easy way to improve your sex life and create an even deeper bond.

Look, no one’s saying they don’t believe in you, but there is a reason why you own five dusty workout machines, right? Most people don’t stick to their New Year’s resolutions because the ones they choose are, well – pretty boring. Give yourself a fighting chance this year by swapping out the same old promises for something that will improve your sex life. Trust us, when you’re having sex that’s better than ever, all your less-than-perfect habits will seem much less important anyway.


 

5 Kama Sutra Positions for the Elastically Impaired

Everyone’s heard of the Kama Sutra. A popular topic of conversation at bridal showers and spawner of a million pop-culture references, the world’s most-fun ancient book describes sex positions that are usually regarded as laughably impossible. Even the traditional paintings depicting those positions can make partners seem less like erotic artists and more like victims of a fatal car crash (something about all those backwards-bending elbows). Here’s the good news, though. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be a human Gumby to experiment with the Kama Sutra. In fact, there are at least five positions that even the least flexible among us can enjoy.

Nothing like a little light reading before bed.

1. Clasp On, Clasp Off. Here’s a Kama Sutra position that you can enjoy even if you consistently failed the Presidential Fitness Test back in grade school. In the “clasping position,” one partner lies directly on top of the other with their legs straight and pressed together. After penetrating their partner, the “top” rocks up and down gently. This is one of the more intimate Kama Sutra sex positions, as it allows partners to kiss, caress and stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. It’s also been said that putting the legs in this pose can really tighten things up (if you know what we mean). Although this position is traditionally depicted with a man on top and a woman on bottom, you can always switch roles or adapt the move to meet your needs. Actually, that goes for most of these sex positions.

2. Feeling Hard-Pressed. This position comes in two flavors, the “pressed position” and the “half-pressed position.” Don’t let the name scare you away – all the pressure applied here will be pleasurable. But to avoid the need for chiropractic care, try the half-pressed position first. This pose is similar to the clasping position, but instead of keeping both legs straight, the partner on the bottom raises one leg and rests it on their lover’s shoulder. In the full pressed position, they raise both legs. The change in angle will give each partner a new sensation, but you don’t need a diagram to enjoy this easy sex move.

High five for a job well done!

3. The Land of Milk and Water. Looking for a way to fill that annoying gap between Desperate Housewives and Pan Am? With this Kama Sutra position, you don’t even need to leave the La-Z-Boy. The “milk and water position” requires one partner to sit in a chair with their legs spread apart while the other partner sits in their lap, facing away. This allows the bottom partner easy access to their lover’s erogenous zones. Start out with some foreplay. You can even bring your Lelo Soraya in on the action if you like. When you’re ready for penetration, have the top partner bounce up and down for added oomph. You’ll experience some serious orgasms, no warmup stretches required.

4. A Tiger in the Bedroom. The “tigress” Kama Sutra pose might already be familiar to you. It’s very similar to the “reverse cowgirl,” one of those positions that Cosmo constantly renames in an attempt to convince readers that their editors have just “uncovered” it (as if sex positions can be unearthed like ancient Mayan relics). For this move, one partner straddles the other, facing away. As they lower themselves to the point of penetration, the partner on top reaches back to rest a palm on their lover’s chest. This lets the top partner control the depth of the penetration as well as how quickly they move. Their companion gets to lie back and enjoy the ride.

Let's save this move for the professionals.

5. Wide Open Spaces. The “widely opened” position allows less-flexible lovers to experience the Kama Sutra without the fear of ending up in traction. In this pose, one partner lies on their back while the other kneels, facing them. The bottom partner wraps their legs around the other person, arching their back and pushing upwards with their hips. Women love to be on the bottom for this easy sex position because the angle guarantees maximum pleasure, and in all the right spots. It also leaves room for clitoral access, so who’s to say you can’t incorporate your Lelo Soraya into this position too? Vātsyāyana, the original author of the Kama Sutra, didn’t have the option of using a vibe or dildo in 400 BCE, but we’re pretty sure that if he were around today, he’d be into it.

The truth is, you don’t need to be some type of sexual spider monkey to enjoy the Kama Sutra. Even those who aren’t exactly loose-limbed can expand their repertoire of sex positions with these easy moves. So what are you waiting for? Roll back the sheets, light some candles and get ready to expand your erotic horizons. But you know, it wouldn’t hurt to stretch first. Just in case.

 

 

 


 

The Top 5 Weirdest Sexual Fetishes

When it comes to fetishes, there really is something for everyone. Are you into role playing as a pack animal? Does the idea of someone stomping on a Reuben sandwich get you all hot and bothered? Or are you one of those people who claims they don’t have any fetishes? (Those people usually turn out to be the kinkiest of all.) If you’ve tried some things like light bondage and weren’t that impressed, maybe you just haven’t found the right fetish. Join us as we take a walk on the wild side with the top 5 weirdest sexual fetishes. Who knows, you might just discover one that’s right for you.

I think we just discovered the hidden meaning behind Big Pun's hit single.

1. I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. Crushing: it’s not just something 12-year-old girls do when they talk about Justin Bieber. A crush fetishist is a person who gets aroused by watching someone literally crush things with their feet. Sex videos of crushing will show objects from birthday cakes to giant beetles being squished without mercy. Unfortunately, some people take it way, way too far. Believe it or not, the the Animal Crush Video Prohibition Act is a real thing, and President Obama signed it. (Feel free to use this fact to spice up boring political conversations.)

2. Now that’s what I call a “stable” relationship. Caution: after learning about this fetish, you may never be able to look at My Little Ponies the same way again. Ponyplay is a subset of bondage culture based around role playing. Practicers of ponyplay are basically humans who pretend to be ponies. As far as fetishes are concerned, this one is pretty involved. There are special harnesses, bridles, saddles and even boots that replicate hooves. There are also training techniques and a variety of roles to play. Some ponyboys and ponygirls pull carts, some give rides and some compete in shows. Of course, someone has to train and groom these ponies too. The expert we consulted on the matter took so long to explain the details that he even got a little hoarse.

Steampunk polar bear not included.

3. Oh baby! Oh baby! Do you ever wish you could return to a simpler time? Back when you didn’t have to go to work, didn’t have to pay bills, didn’t have to feed yourself or use a toilet … Oh sorry, did we lose you there? If you’re perfectly fine with wiping your own behind, infantilism might not be the fetish for you. Infantilists, or adult babies, are exactly what they sound like – grown adults who enjoy role playing as infants. Serious adult babies require caregivers, extra-high high chairs and a large assortment of giant onesies. As far as role playing fetishes go, this one’s actually pretty tame. In fact, many adult babies claim there’s no sexual aspect to the practice at all, just a need to unwind and feel nurtured.

4. The other other white meat. Have you ever fantasized about having a sexy guy or gal over for dinner – literally? Or would you rather be the main course yourself? That’s the big idea behind vorarephila (or “vore” for short). Vorarephilliacs get turned on by the idea of eating alive, or being eaten alive by, another human. Unlike most fetishes, this one obviously can’t be carried out (unless you’re a character on American Horror Story). For that reason, practitioners of vore have to resort to erotica, pictures, sex videos or games that simulate the experience. Fans of vore often practice other fetishes as well, such as bondage or macrophilia (a sexual fascination with giants). If you’ve always gotten turned on by the story of Little Red Riding Hood, maybe this is the fetish for you. Of course, intimate pictures of the Jolly Green Giant seem a little more reasonable. That’s a sentence we never suspected we’d utter.

I really, really love lamp.

5. The object of your desire. In our materialistic society, it’s easy to get a little emotional over objects. From a vintage Ford Mustang to the newest iPad, almost every one of us has an item we go gaga over. Objectum sexuality (or “OS”) takes that feeling a step further. Practicers of OS have actual relationships with objects, believing that they share a romantic connection much like two humans do. These objects can range from the small (like a fence post) to the enormous (like the Golden Gate Bridge). Although some objectum sexuals have human relationships, most consider the connections they have with objects to be their primary partnership. One of the most famous members of OS culture even married the Eiffel Tower. That’s a pretty big commitment to make to a partner that lets thousands of Frenchmen inside of them every day. Perhaps we’ve found a new spokeswoman for Paris Intimates?

Although these are some of the weirdest fetishes out there, they’re just the tip of the iceberg. We didn’t even have time to talk about mudlarking or splooshing – we’ll save those for another day. Maybe all this talk of men in diapers and role playing ponies has sent you running back to your vanilla love life. Maybe it’s turned you on. Hey, we don’t judge. Just remember to stop back and share your experiences in a comment below. In the world of fetishes, there truly is something for everyone.

 

 


 

Top 10 Strange Sex Stories of 2011

Think you have a weird sex life? Unless your year involved midair penetration, surprise toe sucking and a murderous bear, you may want to check yourself. For sexcapades that make headlines, you’re going to have to really up your game in 2012. Don’t believe us? Check out the top ten weird sex stories of 2011. If you’re aiming for a spot on the strange sex list, you’ve got some pretty tough competition.

Can you be a doll and give me a ride?

10. A Flood of Embarrassment. In January, severe storms caused serious flooding in Australia. Many citizens were caught off guard, including one teenage couple who made sex news headlines with their foxy flotation device. It turns out that blow-up dolls make better gag gifts than life rafts. The two were rescued, but not before journalists immortalized their great escape on film.

9. News That Sucks. In Conway, Arkansas, police received two complaints in a single week about a man they’re calling the Toe-Sucking Bandit. The first call came from an 83-year-old woman, who was reclining on her porch when the man approached. He complimented her feet, yanked off her shoe and began sucking her toes. Days later, a young woman in a grocery store reported being harassed by a man who complimented her “long succulent toes.” The strange sex news had women from Conway to Little Rock opting out of open-toed shoes and boasting boots instead.

8. A Fatal Blow to the Head. Kasia Rivera of New Jersey is facing manslaughter charges for botched penile injections that led to one man’s death. As part of her off-the-books medical practice, Rivera injected silicone into a young man’s penis. The man died from silicone embolism one day later – a steep price to pay for a spot on 2011′s strange sex story hall of fame.

7. Meanwhile, at the Boneyard … A 39-year-old woman made sex news headlines after a romp in the cemetery landed her in the ER. The woman was getting down and dirty in the graveyard when a tombstone toppled and landed on her leg. The owners of Ahavath Israel Cemetery in New Jersey decided not to press charges, much to the relief of the woman. She’d had enough to deal with without having to pay a stiff fine.

"Well, she started it."

6. Don’t Mess With a Girl Who’s “Strapped.” One Florida woman faced felony charges in August after she tried to lay the smackdown with a strap-on. Police responded to a domestic dispute when Tamara Cadet accused Jantavia Taylor of chasing her with a knife. Further investigation revealed that the weapon of choice was not a knife, but a “female sex toy” that Taylor chucked at her girlfriend as she fled the house. Luckily, no one was injured, and no Lelo Soraya toys were harmed in the making of this weird sex story.

5. Putting the Cum in Cum Laude. Austrians gave the term “oral exam” a new meaning in 2011 when they opened the International Sex School in Vienna. One semester at the school costs £1,400, but the lessons pupils learn (and the memories they make in their co-ed dorm rooms) will last a lifetime. No word yet on whether the school offers skill-based scholarships, but there’s no harm in practicing just in case.

4. Whipping Up a FAPpuccino. For many people, 2011 was about setting goals and making dreams come true. For one New Yorker, that dream was to masturbate in every single Starbucks in New York City (298 in total). The man, who called himself Mr. PeePee, even documented his solo sessions and rated them on a blog and podcast. The public, largely unimpressed with this strange sex fetish, were mostly just disturbed to discover that there are that many Starbucks in NYC.

3. More Than He Could Bear. A Cleveland man was found dead in a rather compromising position in July of 2011. Sam Mazzola, 49, was discovered chained to his waterbed, covered in chains and padlocks and wearing a leather bondage mask. Mazzola died from choking to death on a sex toy. A year prior, he’d made headlines when one of his pet bears mauled and killed a local woman. Clearly, he wasn’t a big fan of safety manuals.

2. Toys For Twats. This strange sex story has a charitable twist. A Houston-based escort named Shelby went by the name “Santa’s Little Helper” this season when she offered a one-of-a-kind deal to potential Johns. Any “client” who brought an unwrapped present to donate to Toys for Tots got a special BOGO deal – buy one hour, get a half hour free. Now that’s what we call a hooker with a heart of gold.

The coolest people alive. Period.

1. Pretty Fly for a White Guy. When bald eagles mate, they fly thousands of feet in the air, lock talons and copulate as they plummet towards the ground. When humans try to do the same, they land themselves in first place for the weird sex news stories of 2011. Skydiving instructor Alex Torres and his partner Hope Howell may have lost their jobs for their decision to make a skydiving sex tape, but do you really think they care? They had sex while jumping out of an airplane. If you ask us, they’re all-American heroes.

It’s sure been a wild year for sex. Human beings are nothing if not inventive, and when they apply that capacity for innovation to their love lives, it’s no wonder we end up with so many strange sex news stories. If all of these weird sex headlines happened in only one year, what can we expect from 2012? Only time will tell. Until then, rest assured that even if your love life seems a little “out there,” there’s always someone who’s got you beat.

 

 


 

5 Sexy Games to Play When You're Snowed In

Remember what it was like to be snowed in as a kid? Knowing you could stay home all day and play made you feel like you’d just won the weather lottery. Set free from math lessons and cafeteria-table politics, you peered through your frosted bedroom window at a glittering white diorama of possibility. It’s time to experience that sense of wonder and excitement once again. When you’re snowed in this winter, don’t resign yourself to just watching C-Span and getting a jump-start on your taxes. Get the fireplace crackling and fill the long afternoon with sexy games instead. Who knows? You might discover something new to keep you warm all winter long.

When your wife asked you to "take a crack at shoveling the walk" this is not what she had in mind

1. Truth or bare. Strip poker is one of the most well-known sexy games of all time, so there’s no need to explain how this game starts. Actually, no, that’s not correct – men might need some help getting the ball rolling. Guys, gather a group of snowbunnies and play a few hands of regular cards together. Provide cocktails. At the right moment, raise the stakes by saying something like “You know what’s more fun? Strip poker.” Tease any noncompliant snowbunnies by challenging their manhood. When there are no articles of clothing left, switch up your strategy and begin an all-nude round of truth or dare. Take turns challenging each other with provocative questions and dares. Anyone who refuses to comply has to “bare all” to old Jack Frost (say, by crafting a snow angel or running to the mailbox in the buff). Have fun, but be careful. Your neighbors are likely snowed in too, so you may want to think twice before jingling your bells up and down the cul-de-sac.

2. Tied up treat. Instead of chowing down on holiday leftovers in front of the TV, why not use those tasty treats to whet your appetite for holiday sex? Remember all those bondage techniques we taught you? Now’s the time to put your skills to use. Grab a partner (or partners) and then take turns blindfolding and feeding each other samples of the holiday fare. You can even use your box of holiday chocolates to play a sweet and spicy guessing game. Have your blindfolded partner guess the contents of each treat by smell alone. Award yourselves with something sinful for every correct guess and offer up a pleasing punishment for every mistake. After some teasing and spanking, don’t be surprised if you find yourselves rolling around and covered in fruitcake.

deathtrap or sexual wonderland?

3. Ice ice baby. The icicles hanging from your porch can do so much more than threaten to impale you as you step out to fetch the mail. Snap off an icy spike and bring it inside to play some sexy games. Bind your partner and trace the icicle gently over his or her body to tease and tantalize. Using a warming lube is a great way to give some special spots an alternating taste of hot and cold. If you really want to get your partner worked up, bring your Lelo Soraya into the action and turn up the heat with some good vibrations. When your partner’s to the point where they can’t take anymore, untie them so they can repay you with some hot holiday sex.

4. Roll the dice. Forget Angry Birds. There’s a whole host of iPhone apps to rescue yourselves from a boring, snowy day on the sofa. Download Love Dice or any of a number of sexy games from the iTunes store to rekindle dwindling passions or warm up to someone new. The giddy uncertainty of these adult games will remind you of the first time you played spin the bottle. Show off all the moves you didn’t have at your first coed sleepover. Maybe you’ll even learn something new. You never know what the dice will decide!

the things we can make sexy astound even us

5. Snowsuit strip. Remember being forced as a child to don seven layers of snow gear before running outside to enjoy a snow day? It’s time to relive that memory, but with a sexy new twist. For this game, you and your partner put on as many layers of winter wear as you can manage. Once you’re decked out from cap to snow boots, race to see who can get naked first. Battle it out to see who gets “serviced” before the other, or even play for dibs on your favorite toy like the Lelo Soraya. One thing’s for sure – you’ll have some spicy memories to keep you warm the next time you need to really bundle up. Just try not to smile creepily as you shovel the sidewalk, okay?

Unlike a three-hour Monopoly marathon, with sexy games everybody wins. So the next time you wake up to find your car buried in a snowdrift, don’t get upset. Remember that long-ago view through your frosted bedroom window. See if you can’t recapture that same spirit once again. You always knew how to be both naughty and nice, but now that you’re older, the games are a lot more fun. Happy Holidays from Paris Intimates!

 

 


 

The Top 10 Myths About HIV and AIDS

Sometimes it seems that the myths and misconceptions about HIV and AIDS spread even faster than the virus itself. December is National AIDS Awareness Month, and there’s no better time to shed some light on the truth behind HIV. Familiarize yourself with the following myths and learn about HIV prevention. The more you know about this sexually transmitted disease, the safer you’ll be.

The Myths

1. You can get HIV or AIDS from causal contact. This is perhaps one of the most widely believed myths about HIV and AIDS, but the virus can only be transmitted through semen, vaginal fluid, blood or breast milk. So kissing someone with AIDS, hugging someone with HIV, sharing a drink with someone who has the virus – none of these forms of causal contact put you at risk.

2. There’s a cure. Many victims of the virus are so desperate to get healthy that they fall prey to con artists who offer them a cure. In choosing alternative therapies, some patients forgo traditional treatments and can even make themselves sicker as a result. Researchers are getting closer to finding a cure every day, but until they do, victims of the virus shouldn’t trust alternative therapies.

3. Only gay men and drug users get aids. It’s this myth about HIV that causes so many people to write off the idea of safe sex, putting them at great risk for exposure. The HIV virus doesn’t care about your age, your race or your sexual preference. If a virus can get into another host, it will – that’s all it does, and that’s why it’s here. There’s no specific group of people that get HIV and AIDS, and your social or sexual identity doesn’t make you immune.

4. Mosquitoes can infect you. Even in areas where mosquitoes swarm and AIDS is common, this myth about HIV and AIDS is simply untrue. People fear that because the virus is spread through the blood, blood-sucking insects can act as carriers and infect people through a bite. However, there is no scientific evidence that suggests that insects like mosquitoes can infect humans with the virus through a bite.

5. You can tell if a person is HIV positive. The only way to know that you or your partner don’t have HIV or AIDS is to get tested often. Individuals can have the virus and not show symptoms for a very long time, even though the virus is active and contagious. Never assume you can tell that a potential partner is negative, and always practice safe sex to protect yourself.

6. If you’re both positive, there’s no need for protection. Even if two partners are both HIV positive, they should still use protection and practice safe sex. Why? Because by not practicing safe sex, they risk exposing each other to new and potentially treatment-resistant strains of the virus.

7. Seniors don’t have to worry about HIV. This common myth about HIV is the reason seniors are one of the fastest growing groups of people infected with HIV. Seniors assume that since they can’t get pregnant, there’s no need for protection. But when seniors don’t use condoms, they make themselves even more susceptible to this sexually transmitted disease.

8. You can’t get HIV from oral sex. Although the risk of infection is lower than with anal or vaginal sex, if you have oral sex with someone who is HIV positive, it is possible that you can contract the disease. To protect yourself, practice safe oral sex. Use a condom or latex barrier.

9. Women with HIV can’t have children. Although late-stage AIDS patients can become infertile or risk miscarriage, women with HIV and AIDS can still have children. If proper medical procedures are followed (delivering via C-section, abstaining from breastfeeding and administering certain drugs to the mother and child, for example) then the risk of the child becoming HIV-positive drops to as little as two or three percent.

10. HIV does not cause AIDS. Some believe that the span of time between HIV infection and the appearance of AIDS is reason to believe that one does not cause the other. Others cite symptoms similar to other diseases and claim that the causes of AIDS lie elsewhere. Similar to myths about HIV cures, this myth is responsible for stopping many who are infected from receiving proper treatment. Although this myth isn’t as widely accepted as some of the others, its propagation can be just as harmful.

The war on AIDS needs to be fought with knowledge, not just medicine. Like any sexually transmitted disease, AIDS is preventable. The more we understand about this deadly disease – and the more easily we are able to separate fact from fiction – the easier that fight will be. Observe National AIDS Awareness Month by sharing this list with your friends and family and helping to spread the truth about HIV and AIDS.

 


 

The Top 5 Weirdest Sex Injuries

It’s human nature to try to go boldly where no man has gone before. Our species has a lust for adventure and innovation that has led us to explore the deepest oceans on the planet and even walk on the moon. Unfortunately, when we take that enterprising spirit into the bedroom, things don’t always work out so well. The people below thought their bright ideas would earn them a gold medal in sex. Instead, those ideas landed them in the weirdest sex injuries hall of fame.

Tim does not approve, but Al seems kind of into it.

Saw VI – The Director’s Cut. Although it seems like a scene from a horror movie, one Maryland couple says it “seemed like a good idea at the time.” In 2009, a Maryland woman was airlifted to the hospital after her boyfriend decided to go all Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor on her special cabinet. When most couples grow tired of their dildos, they usually choose to upgrade to a high-quality model like the Lelo Soraya. This couple decided to MacGyver themselves a high-powered toy instead. The woman was wounded after a power saw that had been attached to her dildo cut through her toy to do some downstairs remodeling of its own. The woman’s injuries were severe, but luckily she made a full recovery and was released from the hospital later that week.

Bums Away. If this list of weirdest sex injuries were to include every person who’s ever gotten a mystery item stuck in their back door, it would look a lot less like a blog entry and a lot more like a novel. There’s a reason why toys designed for anal pleasure include wide bases or rings – because powerful rectal muscles can contract upon orgasm. One minute, you’re going to town with your favorite matchbox car. The next moment it’s up, up, and away! Other notable bum blockers include: wine bottles, tree branches, zucchinis, neon light bulbs and even a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup. If you ask us, these sex injuries could have easily been avoided by playing with a Lelo Oden instead – it boasts 50 times the pleasure of your standard vegetable at only one fifth the price of the average X-ray.

Not for use on private carpets.

The Hoover Damn. If you catch your man Hoovering in the nude, you may want to plan an intervention before it’s too late. Yes, pristine bedroom carpeting can tempt you to turn a blind eye to this exceedingly odd behavior, but unless you make a move now, you’re man’s manhood might get mangled. Because although 90% of men treated for vacuum-related penile lacerations report that they were “just cleaning,” 100% of hospitals report that men are terrible liars. Yeah, that Hoover’s siren song can be sweet, but the truth is that sometimes machine love hurts. Tiny blades inside vacuums meant to chop up dust bunnies can do impressive damage to a curious man’s member. If you’ve seen your man making eyes at the Orek, you might want to pawn the thing – the appliance, not your man – and surprise him with a Fleshlight instead. Well, okay. Maybe just pawn your man too.

The Kiss of Deaf. One of the weirdest sex injuries happened to a couple before they even made it past foreplay. During a particularly hot kiss, a Chinese woman lost her hearing. As Dr Li, the woman’s ear specialist, told the China Daily newspaper, “In this case, the kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear.” It sounds like a hefty price to pay just for a smooch. The woman made a recovery after several months, but for a while, her man’s pleas for forgiveness fell on deaf ears.

Don't try this at home- especially if you have large windows.

Wii Play – and Play, and Play. UK native Amanda Flowers brought a new meaning to the term “Wii Play” with her bizarre gaming-induced sex injuries. It’s fairly common for Nintendo Wii users to incur bodily harm, but Flowers suffered from more than just a strained tendon or a bruised bone. After falling from the Wii platform, Flowers injured a nerve, which induced a constant state of arousal. The disorder is called “persistent sexual arousal syndrome,” and for Flowers, even minor vibrations (like those produced by cell phones) can trigger an orgasm. To some of us, this may seem like a windfall. But just think about trying to sit through a funeral. Imagine breaking up with your boyfriend. You can see why doctors call it a disorder and not a super power.

There are so many ways to have sex, and there are just as many ways to get hurt doing it. While owning a quality toy (like the Lelo Soraya) can go a long way towards preventing weird sex injuries, those with even the purest of intentions can fall prey to bizarre accidents. Our little list of weird sex injuries should give you pause the next time you’re undressing that Orek with your eyes. Before you let your curiosity get the best of you, treat yourself to something that will end your day with an orgasm, not a trip to the emergency room.

 

 


 

5 Holiday Sex Positions to Jingle Your Bells

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: you’re off from work, there are free baked goods everywhere, and people are socially obligated to buy you things – but sadly all that shopping and planning can sometimes leave little time for holiday sex. We’d hate to see your sex life become as monotonous as a Charlie Brown Christmas Special marathon, so we’re here to help. Check out these holiday-inspired sex positions we dreamed up just for you. Hey, don’t say we never gave you anything.

1. Deck the Balls.  Old Saint Nick shouldn’t be the only one who gets a midnight snack in your house this year. For this move, gentlemen, head over to the kitchen and make use of your holiday leftovers. Coat your balls by dipping them in eggnog and decorating them with some red and green sprinkles. Head over to the bedroom to present your partner with a festive treat that’s just as hard as a store-bought fruitcake, but twice as delicious. They get a second helping of dessert, and you get an orgasm. It’s a win-win! Of course, you could always look at this as an appetizer to ignite an appetite for even more fun.

2. Secret Santa.  If you’ve been following our posts on bondage techniques, you already know a little something about blindfolds. This holiday, have your own private gift exchange after everyone else has gone to bed. Our Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit and Lelo Soraya vibe are just the tools you’ll need for this fun and festive surprise. Bind your partner with wrist and ankle restraints and use the kit’s blindfold to create an air of mystery. Tease your partner with the kit’s feather tickler and use the Lelo Soraya to bring her to orgasm. While she’s distracted, secretly don a Santa mask and hat. After she orgasms, remove the blindfold and yell, “Surprise, you just got screwed by Santa!”

3. Trimming the Tree.  We’re heading back to the kitchen again. You’ll need your holiday-themed cookie cutters for this holiday sex move. To start, you and your partner must choose your favorite shapes or symbol for each other. Your partner places your chosen shape right above your private cookie jar and uses a lip liner pencil to outline. Then shave around your shape to give your tree that festive touch. Don’t forget to take turns eating each other’s cookies! Will you be a snowman or a snowflake this year? Only the two of you will be in on the secret. (Bonus points for whoever makes mention of their special symbol more times during boring holiday dinners.

4. The Stocking Stuffer.  This move is more of a game than a position. To pull it off, you’ll need two pairs of sexy stockings, two Lelo Lyla wireless vibrators, and a killer poker face. Place the Lelo either internally or externally and slip into your stockings to keep it in place. After you get fully dressed, exchange controllers with your partner and head out to a busy holiday get together. Spend the night sending special signals to your partner with the wireless controller in your pocket. Just make sure you know where the coat closet is, because you’ll be searching for it soon.

5. O Cum, O Cum, Emanuel.  This one is by far the hardest to pull off, but if you do, you’ll be a bigger Christmas legend than Santa himself. You will need: a sexy stud named Emmanuel, a spacious walk-in closet and an incredibly progressive gospel choir. Have your manly Manny face your closet while you work him from behind. When he lets you know he’s about to orgasm, yell “Now!” The closet doors will spring open with the gospel choir belting out the chorus to that famous carol: “O Cum, O Cum, Emanuel!” You may ruin his orgasm and your relationship, but legends never die.

By now we’ve probably ruined enough holiday phrases for you that you’ll find yourself giggling inappropriately at least once this season. Hey, what can we say? When it comes to holiday advice, we’re not the website for exchanging casserole recipes. Let us know if you try out any of these holiday sex moves this year. Better yet, try them all and send us a red and green bar graph rating your orgasm for each. Also feel free to let us know if you know anyone named Emmanuel who looks like he has a good sense of humor. It is the season for sharing, after all.

 

 


 

5 Sexy Gifts to Give Yourself This Holiday

When it comes to holiday gifts, you can’t always get what you want, especially if what you want is dildos or a fleshlight. You’re much more likely to receive a pair of snowman socks from your secret Santa than something that will really keep you warm at night. We took a peek at your secret wish list and decided that since you’ve been so nice this year, you deserve something a little naughty. So go ahead. Treat yourself to these five presents this year and we guarantee you’ll be jolly all year round.

1. Pink bnaughty Wireless Vibrating Bullet. If you’re tired of the wires on you vibrator getting in the way of your play, treat yourself by upgrading to the Pink bnaughty Wireless Vibrating Bullet. The bullet comes with a handy cord, making retrieval easy. The wireless control can be operated from up to twenty feet away and even work through walls. Imagine all of the games you could play with a partner! You could even buy two and have the sexiest game of tag you’ve ever had. Whether you’d like to adventure out with your bullet, say, to the most “exciting” day of Black Friday shopping ever, or just relax before bed, this bullet is the perfect gift to give yourself.

2. KamaSutra Getaway Kit. Are you using some of those hard-earned days off for a romantic getaway? We have the perfect travel companion: the KamaSutra Getaway Kit. The kit includes French Vanilla Creme Body Souffle, Vanilla Creme Oil of Love, Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust with a feather applicator, Love Liquid water-based Lubricant and a Romance Candle. So much in such a little package! The best part is that all products in this kit are sized at under 3.4 oz, making them carry-on friendly. Even if you’re snowed in with a house full of relatives, you and your partner can create your own exotic escape just by locking the bedroom door and opening up your KamaSutra kit. Give yourself this gift today and share the romance with someone you love.

 

3. Original Pink Lady Fleshlight. If you’re a man looking to treat himself this holiday, we have the perfect gift. The original pink lady Fleshlight is the #1 best selling male sex toy in the world! If that fact doesn’t sell you alone, maybe these features will. The design of this fleshlight make it incredibly realistic and perfect for penetration. With the female form so artfully imitated, you’ll find this toy hard to put down. Even if you don’t plan on kissing anyone under the mistletoe this year, you’ll be satisfied all season if you check this toy off of your wish list early.

 

4. Liberator Fascinator. Take a cue from a holiday hero this season and break out the red plush fabric. We’re not suggesting a North Pole role-play (although now that we think about it, it does seem kind of fun). We’re talking about the Liberator Fascinator—a plush red throw that ensures your favorite sex spots stay spotless. An inner moisture barrier absorbs all the messy fun of sexual play and the versatility of the portable fabric can transform any surface into a backdrop for fun. Buy yourself a Liberator Fascinator this year and be liberated from the bedroom to explore a whole new world of romping.

5. Don Wands Helix Dichio - Let’s face it – unless you hang with a pretty progressive crowd, you’re not likely to be receiving many dildos at the holiday gift exchange this year. Why not get into the holiday spirit early by giving yourself a Don Wands Helix Dichio glass dildo this year? The smooth surface and beautiful design make this toy even more beautiful than the ornaments on your tree. A great alternative to noisy vibrating dildos, this glass wand will let you have a silent but delightful night (an important feature if you’re trapped in a house full of relatives all season). Use this wand to unwind on your own, or take part in the season of giving by sharing the fun with your partner.

Before you get caught up in all of your holiday shopping this year, we hope you can take a moment to give a little something back to yourself. Whether you’re single or coupled, a liberated lady or a lone wolf, this just-for-you wish list has something for everyone. Share the gifts you give yourself with someone you love, or keep your new holiday toys just for yourself this year. Whatever way you play, you’ll be sure to stay warm all season if you check yourself off of your shopping list first.

 

 


 

10 Biggest Phallic Symbols of the Modern World

James Brown once proclaimed, “It’s a man’s world.” While those lyrics may have seemed slightly less chauvinistic in 1966, a cursory glance around the world’s architectural achievements drives his point home like a jackhammer. Penises are everywhere — or maybe it just seems that way? Man has long found the curious need to reach toward the heavens with temples of cock. Don’t believe it? Check out these towering concrete phalli for proof:

10. The Obelisk at St. Peter’s Square, Italy – Just Vati-can’t get enough of those spooky, religious hardifacts? Nothing will satisfy both your Davinci coded curiosity and your lust for architectural absolution like this Egyptian gift rising from Rome’ unholy land. Hold your priest gags, ‘cause there’s nothing little about this boy.

9. The Bionic Tower, China – Having nearly run out of vertical space to house their overpopulation, the Chinese are reaching to the sky in the future. The proposed “Bionic Tower” may not be ground broken yet, but if this industrious nation has their way, by 2020, around 100,000 of their finest will be living in this in-spired phallic wonder world.

 

8. Marine Tower, Japan – Ah, you gotta love the Japanese. Known for their technical efficiency, studious work ethic and tiny…well, their buildings aren’t tiny anyway. The 324 foot Yokohma Marine Tower is officially the world’s largest lighthouse. Though not a lighthouse in the traditional, “Honey, let’s take a romantic day trip up the coast of Maine,” variety, this Japanese monster juts out above the sea in all of its red veiny, purplish headed glory. Domo arigato Japan, domo arigato.

7. Nebraska State Capital Building, US – Hey stalker, got a hankerin’ to husk corn? Anyone who has the pleasure of traveling through America’s bread basket would be remiss not to soak in this Lincoln oddity. It’s affectionately known by many as “The Penis in the Prairie.” With the fountains flowing beneath, the wild shrubbery sprouting at the base and the unusually shiny dome – the state building feels like a throwback to a kinder, gentler era of “hey world, look at my junk!”

6. Seattle Space Needle, US – The Pacific Northwest may be the birthplace of grunge and overpriced java, but nothing comes to mind faster than the Space Needle when you envision the stunning Seattle Skyline. Visitors can slowly gyrate, er, rotate at 500 feet on the observation deck, taking in breathtaking panoramas.

5. Cathedral of Learning, US – The vast majority of universities around the nation have towers eerily lurking over their student body. Nowhere will you find a more impressive bastion of higher learning than Pitt University’s Cathedral Of Learning in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Erected in 1926, the 42 story, late Gothic revivalist building proves to the world that the Steel City has staying power.

4. Taipei 101, China – No, it’s not the name of a beginner’s class in oriental cooking, it’s the world’s second tallest man-made structure. When it shot up in ‘04, the 1,671 ft joint was the tallest, until Dubai came in and building-blocked them with the 2,717 ft Burj Khalifa. Don’t worry Taiwan, it happens to lots of architects.
3. Burj Khalifa, UAE – Dubai is like the modern, ancient Egypt. The extravagant desert oasis town is just determined to prove how big they can go. This thing is impressive, though with the $1.5 billion price tag still hanging on it, young Burj better satisfy those vertical junkies for a long time to come.

2. Eiffel Tower, France – You gotta love the French. Okay, so not everyone does, but no one with a romantic bone in their body will dispute the fact that the Eiffel Tower is the world’s most famous tall thingy that people like to get on and take pictures of.

1. Washington Monument, US – Coming in at number one (U-S-A!, U-S-A!) is the phallic grandaddy of them all. Nothing says “Our country’s more adequate than yours,” like this tall, smooth, white pillar of glorious Americana. Standing proudly at 555 feet, and the more humorously telling 5 1/8 inch, one can’t help but get choked up. Rise and salute. God bless the U.S.

 

 


 

4 Fun Games for Bondage Experts

If you’ve been following our latest posts on bondage techniques, you’ve probably had your hands full for the last few weeks. So far we’ve taught you how to introduce bondage to your partner, how to have safer sex with safe words, and even how to select toys for some fun and exciting bondage games. While we’re sure we’ve given you a lot to think about, the fun doesn’t stop there. This week we’d like to dive even deeper and share some advanced bondage techniques with you. Read on to discover fun new ways to whip some excitement into your love life.

Power Play

Although it sounds like a tactic used by ladder-climbing middle managers, power play is a lot sexier than that. Trust us. Power play, or power exchange, is all about submitting to another person. It can be something as simple as one partner calling the other “Master” or “Mistress” in the bedroom while practicing bondage techniques, or it can involve a more public acknowledgment. Some couples will even have a public collaring ceremony where they make a lifelong pact for one partner to have complete control over, and even micromanage, the life of the other. (It sounds a lot like marriage, but with more leather.)

Of course, to enter into these types of scenarios or relationships, clear roles need to be established. Some partners even draw up contracts beforehand to ensure safer sex and clear communication. It might seem like a lot of work, but when you and yours are picking out monogrammed dog collars, it will all seem worth it.

Tease and Deny

We talked about this a bit last week when we showed you how to use a feather tickler to tease your partner. “Tease and deny” takes that idea just a bit further. The idea behind this bondage game is to bring your partner to the brink of orgasm, then to limit or stop stimulation before they get their rocks off. This is usually accomplished while the partner is bound with ropes or cuffs, adding to their feelings of helplessness. To create arousal, use good old fashioned intercourse or toys like the Lelo Oden couple’s ring. When the submissive partner is eventually “allowed” to orgasm, their experience will be even more explosive. Some couples take this idea even further by using chastity belts. (They’re not just for overprotective medieval parents anymore!)

Predicament bondage

We prefer to call this bondage game “in a pickle bondage” because it makes it sound a bit more fun. (That, and we love pickles even more than Snooki does.) This bondage game uses restraints to put the submissive partner in a limited number of positions. The positions themselves are designed to create increasing discomfort (kind of like the chairs at the DMV), and the submissive is thereby forced to shift between positions that provide relief to one part of the body and discomfort to another. The dominant partner may even tease or tickle the submissive while this is happening. These types of bondage games require a bit more experience, so until you’ve earned your merit badge in knot tying, you may want to stick to safer sex positions for the time being. There are few visits to the ER more embarrassing than those that involve sexy times. Before you put yourself in a pickle, make sure you’ll be able to find a way out.

Interrogation Bondage

Few of us have the willpower to resist a “Law and Order” marathon, but if you find yourself consulting your TV Guide weeks in advance and calling off work to stay in with Lieutenant Stabler, you may enjoy this game more than others. Interrogation bondage can be a fun and sexy way to combine role-playing and power play. (It can also be useful in getting your partner to admit to eating the last slice of pizza.)

In these types of bondage games, one partner plays the victim and is restrained and “tortured.” This torture can range from tickling to things that are more severe, including electric shocks delivered by special machines. The length and severity of the session is up to you, but be sure to have your safe words in place. Actually, if you’re using gags in your bondage games, you may want to swap your safe word for a safe action. If your partner is unable to speak properly, they can snap their fingers or drop an object they’re holding in order to halt the action. Just think, by adding interrogation bondage into your sex life, you’ll finally have a use for that creepy swinging light in your basement!

We’ve sure had fun teaching you about bondage techniques these last few weeks. We hope you’re putting all of your newfound knowledge to good use. By now, your love life is probably looking a lot less like a boring vanilla ice cream cone and a lot more like a trip to the Razzy Fresh yogurt buffet. Hey, you’re welcome. We always love to hear feedback. Have you been taking our advice? Tell us about it in a comment below.

 

 


 

Intermediate Bondage: Happiness in Slavery

Hello there. We hope you’ve had a stimulating week – and with the beginner’s guide to bondage techniques we posted last time, how could you not? In that guide, we showed you how to introduce the idea of bondage games to your partner, how to have safer sex by using safe words, and how to begin bringing bondage into your bedroom. We trust you’ve been practicing, and we’d like to reward your hard efforts with even more fun ideas. So check out these four fun toys and try them out yourself – that is, if you aren’t too tied up.

Something so arresting

 

Last week we talked about using light restraints like bondage tape. This week, we’d like to step it up a notch. When it comes to bondage techniques, cuffs should be a staple of your toolbox – and we aren’t talking about the ones that you decorate with those cheesy dollar sign cuff links. (Seriously, how many times do we have to beg you not to wear those to the club?) Cuffs come in many shapes and sizes, from “awkward bridal shower gift” fuzzy black to “dungeon master” leather. Personally, we advise trying out the leather cuffs first. They tend to be the most comfortable, and since they fasten with buckles instead of tiny, easy-to-lose keys, there’s less of a chance that your cousin’s boyfriend Stew the locksmith will find you in a compromising position. Remember, sex without miniature keys is always safer sex.

Wax on, wax off

Sexy candles are always a good idea – that is, unless you live in a family home that is also prone to rolling blackouts. There’s no right way to explain to Great Aunt Tilda that those are “private” candlesticks. Although scented candles can set the mood, there are even better uses for them when it comes to bondage games. Use these Japanese drip candles to drip a bit of wax on a bound partner. Just remember that a little goes a long way. No need to go all “House of Wax” on anyone. You might also want to invest in a Liberator Fascinator before you get your drip on. The plush throw will shield your sheets from wax, lube, and all other signs of a night of play. After all, the less time you spend doing laundry, the more time you can spend doing each other.

When a problem comes along, you must whip it

Nothing can whip a tired sex life into shape like an actual whip. Before you buy one, you are legally obligated to sign a contract promising you won’t play Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West” single during foreplay. (Not true, but it should be.) When introducing whips into your bondage games, it’s best to stay away from cowboy movie props – instead, go for toys that bring both pain and pleasure. This paintbrush whip is perfect because it can be used with any amount of force you and your pardner (sorry, we had to) desire. As with any aspect of sex, it’s usually best to begin slow and increase the volume as you go. Save that gung-ho attitude for the Western whip-cracking convention and ease yourself into the saddle instead.

Light as a feather, stiff as a board

You’ll never think of that old sleepover game the same way again. Using a feather to tease a partner who is blindfolded or bound (or both!) can be a fun and playful way to bring something new into the bedroom. Use a tickler like this one to tease and tickle, or randomly switch between feathers and whips. Run the feather over your partner’s body, and when they least expect it, give them a gentle slap with the whip. Or use feathers to tickle your partner and then “punish” them with a smack of the whip if they laugh. This activity can lead to heightened anticipation and a bigger payoff for you both. Most importantly, it can inject some healthy laughter into the bedroom and remind both of you that above all, sex should be fun.

Go forth and prosper

Now that we’ve given you even more ideas for exploring bondage techniques, we bet you’re raring to go. But before you stockpile a sex-toy arsenal, remember to go slow. Don’t just spring a duffle bag of dirty deeds on your partner all at once. Explore one avenue at a time, and always remember that safer sex means using safe words.

We hope we’ve given you enough new ideas to keep your hands full this week. Stay tuned for next week’s bondage guide where we’ll delve even further into fun tips and techniques. Oh – and when you’ve recovered from your exciting evening, remember to share your exploits in a comment below!

 

Hello there. We hope you’ve had a stimulating week – and with the beginner’s guide to bondage techniques we posted last time, how could you not? In that guide, we showed you how to introduce the idea of bondage games to your partner, how to have safer sex by using safe words, and how to begin bringing bondage into your bedroom. We trust you’ve been practicing, and we’d like to reward your hard efforts with even more fun ideas. So check out these four fun toys and try them out yourself – that is, if you aren’t too tied up.


 

How to Tie Him Down Without Scaring Him Off: A Beginner

So you want to try bondage. Maybe something’s missing from your missionary. Maybe your Netflix queue confusing Secretariat for Secretary put some new ideas into your head. Hey, we’re not judging. We’re behind you, and we want to help! Admitting you’re turned on by the idea of trying out bondage techniques might be easy, but actually taking that idea from your brain to the bedroom might seem a bit harder. This could have something to do with the misconception that bondage games are just for creepers who drive windowless vans. Not true! Bondage can be a great addition to any sex life, and you don’t have to own a leather wardrobe to enjoy it.

Oh my. This certainly isn't "Secretariat."

That said, when it comes to introducing bondage to your partner, there’s a right way to go about things and a wrong way. While the right way can open up a whole new world of romping, the wrong way can send your partner running for the hills. Since you’re new here, we’ve decided to point out some common mistakes and set you on the right track.

“Surprise honey, I built us a dungeon!”

What better way to introduce bondage techniques to your partner than to build them a surprise dungeon while they’re away on a business trip? Who wouldn’t love to come home to find the basement converted to a medieval torture chamber? “Is that an authentic iron maiden? Oh honey, you shouldn’t have!”

No really, you shouldn’t have. Let’s back up about 20 steps and start at square one. Before you turn your apartment into the set of a Rihanna video, the first thing you want to do is gauge your partner’s interest. Bring up the topic casually in conversation. You don’t have to put yourself 100% out there and say, “Hey, how do you feel about ball-gags and nipple clamps?” Talk about it in context and observe your partner’s reactions. Chances are they’re already sending you cues in the bedroom. Pay attention and take mental notes. When you take that first step, you want to make sure you’re headed in the right direction.

Safer sex with safe words

Foliage?

You’re certainly asking, “When are we going to get to the fun part?” Don’t get your studded panties in a twist. We’ll get there soon enough, but there’s definitely some groundwork that needs to be laid before you are. (Your efforts will pay off. Trust us.) When we talk about safer sex, we aren’t talking about contraceptives and disease prevention (although those are obviously an important part of any sex life). When we say safer sex, we’re talking about mentally safer sex. Having a healthy relationship is all about respect and trust, and you need to carry those ideals into the bedroom with you, regardless of what you plan on doing once you get there.

For a lot of people, bondage games can push the boundaries of what they consider comfortable and normal. Hey, that’s what makes them fun! But there’s a difference between expanding your partner’s horizons and blatantly disregarding their mental well-being. Once trust is lost, it’s hard to get it back. So one of the best ways to arm yourself against awkward and potentially damaging situations is to choose a safe word. Pick a word you wouldn’t normally say during sex. Michael and Jan from The Office used “foliage,” so you can feel free to steal that one. (Unless you commonly use the word “foliage” in the bedroom already. What kind of freaky stuff are you into?) Make sure you’re both clear on your safe word, and know that any time one of you utters it in the bedroom it’s time to back off and regroup. Don’t make the mistake of diving in without a safe word!

Slow down and enjoy the view

You’re learning about bondage techniques, not training for the fetish Olympics. Slow down. Again, a key to making this a working part of your relationship is to maintain trust. If your partner feels pressured to try too much too soon, you’re going to freak them out and turn them off. Start by experimenting more with the power dynamics of bondage games than with any sensations of pain or discomfort.

Pleasure tape.

A great way to do this is by using light restraints like pleasure tape. Lightly bind your partner (or have them bind you – obviously, roles can be reversed based on preference) at the wrists or ankles. Make sure you’ve left them an easy way to escape. It is important that your partner is restrained because they want to be, not because they feel they have no other choice. Once your partner is bound, treat them to all their favorite favors. This would be a great time to use the Lelo Soraya for some extra oomph. Teasing your bound partner with a fun toy like the Lelo SIRI can be a stimulating way to break the bondage ice.

Once you’ve had your first light bondage session, back off. Go about your next few sex sessions in more familiar ways and let your partner be the one who suggests giving it another go. When you get the green light for round two, remember to go slow, and never forget your safe words.

Ready to Romp?

There you have it – your beginner’s guide to bondage. “But what am I supposed to do with all these leather harnesses?” you’re asking. All in due time, my friend. This post is just the beginning in a series, so while we hope we’ve given you a lot to think about, there’s still more to come! Stay tuned, and in the meantime, why not have a poke around our bondage accessories page for even more ideas? With so many toys to choose from, you’re bound to find something you’ve always wanted – or something you never knew you wanted!

 

 


 

Zombie Sex: A How-To Guide

Attention all you walking, crawling and – is that skipping? – skipping dead. Grab a pair of ears and listen up. Just because you’re no longer human doesn’t mean you’re free from human wants and needs. As you’ve repeatedly demonstrated, you still need to eat, you still sort of communicate with one another, and most importantly, you still need sex. That tingling you feel in your crotches isn’t just the worms moving around. It’s your body crying out for the one thing it needs more than human flesh – sweet, sweet zombie sex.

Now, somewhere between dying and being reanimated you seem to have forgotten how to actually get busy getting busy. But don’t worry. We knew you’d have some catching up to do, so we prepared this helpful how-to guide on the ins and outs of zombie sex. If you’ve got a pen handy – or even a finger with some blood left in it – get it ready. You’re going to want to take notes.

1. Let’s start with the basics – your private parts. As you may remember from when you were alive, those things between your legs are the important bits. Therefore, you should all be extremely cautious about keeping them intact and functional. You might have been able to play with them as hard as you wanted when you had a pulse, but things are different now. Parts of you are rotting and falling off all over the place. While many of you might be tempted to explore your new-found ability to literally screw yourselves, this will only end in sorrow after you find out that you can’t just stick what you pulled off back on. Since a few of you seem to have trouble listening, it’s probably better just to institute a no-hands policy until you actually find yourself in a situation where you need to use what’s down there.

2. Now that you’ve got your appendages sorted out, it’s time to move on to the main event. After you find a willing partner and get your gears up to speed, you’ll find that intercourse as a zombie is surprisingly similar to intercourse as a human – only with a few minor changes. Most obviously, zombies have no sense of shame. When you roam around in moaning hordes looking for innocent humans to devour, the sentiment just isn’t necessary. As a result, don’t bother learning how to operate doorknobs again, because you’ll probably all just be having sex in public anyway.

Secondly, with your ability to self-lubricate gone, you’re going to need to find a way to avoid unsightly friction burns and possible loss of appendages. As expected, many of you will be tempted to use blood. While this is certainly an enterprising idea, the stuff dries far too quickly to be practical. Plus, it’s a little macabre, even for creatures of the night. A better idea is to drool. Thanks to your ravenous hunger for human brains, it’s a liquid most of you have in abundance, and for those of you who don’t, there’s plenty to go around. You know it’s going to stay slippery, too, since porn stars have been using this trick for years.

3. To those of you wondering about oral sex – we don’t recommend it. Since zombie sex doesn’t technically require you to be aroused, foreplay is really just an excuse to chew on one another. After all, once you get a taste for flesh, decaying or not, it’s hard to stop. On the bright side, your permeable skin and freedom from pain has opened you up to a whole new world of possibilities when it comes to choosing a new favorite orifice. Feel free to experiment with previously unavailable holes like eye sockets and nostrils to find which one works best for you. Always remember that where there isn’t a cavity or opening, you have the power to make one. You might even end up inventing some new sex positions.

4. Speaking of zombie sex positions, we should probably warn you that while being undead allows you to keep your legs above your head for a very, very long time, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to get them to come back down again. Because of this, you should avoid things like bondage games and limit your repertoire to a few basics, like missionary and doggystyle, instead. Because condoms are simply unnecessary for you (what else could you possibly catch?) even the most vanilla positions should be fun again for a while. You’ll probably find that the most enjoyable position for zombies is a relatively new addition to the playbook, one that involves penetrating your partner slowly from behind while you both slouch forward, moaning as if in a daze. We call it “zombie style,” and while we don’t imagine that it feels very good, we’re not ones to judge.

5. Lastly, to answer the question on everyone’s mind – yes, you can still achieve orgasm. In fact, you can come so hard that you’ll risk shaking off a finger if you let it go too long. But don’t be alarmed if you have trouble climaxing at first. After you lot rose from the dirt, many of you developed subconscious fetishes of which you might not yet be consciously aware. The next time you have zombie sex, try incorporating brains as much as possible. Rubbing and massaging your partner with fresh human brains is typically the quickest way to facilitate powerful orgasms, and the more you have lying around, the better. If just brains aren’t doing it for you, try watching some decapitations or dirty bondage games to boost the thrill. With a little experimentation, you’re sure to find a winning procedure.

That does it for this edition of Zombie Sex: A How-To Guide. Check back with us next week for even more sex tips. And remember, the key to all good zombie sex is brains. Braaaiiinnssss! It’s kind of fun when you say it like that. Braaaaiinnsss! Actually, the more we think about it, brains are kind of sexy. Is anyone else hungry? It’s so weird. A minute ago we were stuffed. Now all we can think about are BRAAAIIINNNSSSSS!! Oh no. Why do we keep saying it like that? Did one of you bite us!? You did, didn’t you!? Well, just see if we come back next wee – BBRRRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS!

Happy Halloween from Paris Intimates.

 

 


 

Digital Love – How Pornography Made the Internet As We Know It

Humans have been obsessed with pornography since the dawn of civilization. Carvings on cave walls depict it, magazines from a century ago are filled with it and some of the first films ever made involve pretty young ladies stripping down to their skivvies. So when engineers in the ’70s invented a multi-terminal computer network they called the “Internet,” can you guess what the first industry to set up shop online was? Here’s a hint: it wasn’t Amazon.

Since sex always sells, no matter the market or method of delivery, pornographers have often been among the first to invest in new online technologies and services. As a result, many of the features that you enjoy on the Internet every day can be traced back to their original purpose – helping us get frisky. Don’t believe it? Then check out these Internet innovations that owe their creation to the porn industry:

• Online Chat. If you’ve been on a computer in the last decade then you should be familiar with AIM, AOL’s online chat service. Although AIM is less popular these days, during the late ’90s the service’s little yellow mascot walked his way into the hearts of millions of Internet users, and he’s still the first thing most people think of when they hear the term “instant message.”

But this little man wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for sex chat rooms. That’s right – the first online chat service was essentially a sex forum hosted by porn websites that allowed people to live out their naughty fantasies anonymously, one sentence at a time. It was through these websites that AOL got the idea to introduce a free online chat system, which resulted in an industry-insider nickname for AOL: The House that Sex Chat Built.

• Credit Card Processing Services. These days, if you want to buy a new Lelo Soraya you don’t even need to get off the couch. At Paris Intimates, just enter your payment information into our handy checkout service and let us handle the rest. Easy enough, right? Well, buying sex toys online – or anything else for that matter – wouldn’t be such a breeze if porn websites hadn’t pioneered credit-card processing software.

In the mid-’90s, sites like ClubLove boosted the Internet’s total revenue by billions when they offered people the chance to see Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee get down and dirty in exchange for an anonymous charge on their credit card. It was only after these pay-for-lay sites set the groundwork for online money transfers that online shopping giants eBay and Amazon rose to power.

• Spam and Spyware. Not every digital innovation sired by pornography has been a good one. If you’ve ever tried to check out pictures of people getting frisky on an outdated web browser like Internet Explorer, you’re probably familiar with the explosion of invincible (and often disgusting) pop-up ads that blanket your desktop after one wrong click of the mouse.

Although porn sites have been on the vanguard of technological innovation since the Internet’s inception, they’ve also been a favorite proving ground for malicious programmers who like to test their viruses and spyware in such places. And spam was born here. Your “junk” folder owes its very existence to the hardwired impulse, so common among pornographers, to email not-safe-for-work ads to everyone, including your mom. In another life, these webmasters would have been trawl fishermen.

• Broadband Internet. As porn rapidly grew into the most popular thing to do on the Internet in the early ’90s, many fine triple-x purveyors needed to find a way to ease access to their staggeringly overstuffed servers. The solution, as Hustler Magazine found out, was for users to turbo-charge their modems. The enterprising skin peddlers at Hustler handed out tons of broadband modems over the course of a decade, which some experts cite as a key reason that high-speed Internet became the new standard for personal use.

• Social Networking. Forget Facebook, Myspace, Digg and Reddit, because porn sites were sharing content and traffic with one another way before it was cool. These steamy sites weren’t just playing around with the idea of a collective sex forum. Instead, they banded together and offered their services as a package, pooling their resources and mailing lists and attracting customers from far and wide – from other genres, even. They even hosted ads for one another in order to increase the industry’s total revenue – which they did, to the tune of several billion dollars.

As you can see, pretty much everything on the Internet owes its existence to porn. Not only have enterprising pornographers revolutionized the digital frontier by introducing online chatting and networking, they’re continuing to develop it today by sponsoring new advances in phone-to-phone video chat and streaming HD video. So the next time you pick up your shiny new Lelo Soraya, be thankful that the porn industry has enabled you to buy something so wonderful, so easily. No need to get out of bed and walk into a store anymore. Just click “buy,” then sit back and relax for a little while. Before you know it, the vibrator delivery man will be there, knocking at your door. And now you know who to thank.
That does it for this week’s article, but stop by next week for even more sex tips, talk and toy reviews.

 

 


 

Sex Tips: How to Make Love When You're Overweight

There’s nothing wrong with being big and beautiful, but when you have a lot to love, getting busy in the sack can sometimes be tricky. You don’t need to lose weight to enjoy an excellent sex life, though, because there are plenty of sex positions for overweight people that can make your amorous adventures a whole lot easier. If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a plus-sized lover like no other, then check out these sex tips:

  • The Modified Missionary. Normally, the missionary is a classic (if not boring) staple of many people’s sexual routine, but if you and your lover have a little weight to throw around then trying to maintain good penetration can quickly become exasperating. Make things easier by placing pillows or thickly-folded blankets under the lady’s lower back. They’ll raise her end zone to a much more accommodating angle and make constant contact nearly effortless.
  • Use The Side Door. If pillows aren’t easily available, another go-to sex position for overweight people is the side approach. This is an easy position to switch to. Ladies, just lie on your side with your knees angled toward your chest. It’s a bit like the fetal position. The acute angle of your hips guarantees that your man will have the optimal angle for penetration, no matter how much junk you’ve got in the trunk.
  • Doggy Style. Utilizing the same body angles as the side approach, the tried-and-true doggy-style position is great for couples of any size. The stability and the excellent view that guys get to enjoy makes this a favorite for many plus-sized lovers.
  • The Downward Dog. Also known as the Lazy Dog, this position is a great way for ladies to ease the strain on their elbows after an extended doggy style session. All you need to do is to slowly let your arms slide out in front of or under your chin while your man keeps up the good work. Moving your arms allows your chest to bear most of your weight and will give your shoulders a chance to rest up for your next position.
  • The Flying V. In addition to burning more calories than the average sex position, the Flying V bypasses any problems caused by overhanging bellies – making it great for both penetration and mobility. All you ladies need to do is to sit on top of your man while both of you lean slightly backwards. This should give your private parts unadulterated access to one another without the worry of any folds getting in the way. If you’re having trouble supporting yourself, stack some pillows behind your heads or find a corner that both of you can lean into.
  • The Toy Store. Not so much a position as a practice, incorporating toys into your lovemaking is a great way to get past any physical limitations. Vibes like the Lelo Soraya are maneuverable and lightweight, and they have a lot more features than the average penis. On the other hand, if you just need a little boost, try a ring like the Lelo Bo. Caution: both the Bo and the Soraya have been known to induce stratospheric orgasms.
  • The Oral Exam. Everyone loves a little tongue action, no matter how big they are. And oral sex isn’t just good foreplay – it’s also a great way to pleasure your partner when your size limits your repertoire of positions. You should take turns blowing, licking, sucking and massaging one another regularly during sex. It’ll make jumping in the sack a lot more fun, and it will help you cross the finish line a lot faster.
  • Up Against the Wall. Using walls to your advantage is a great strategy for overweight sex. Ladies can support their weight when they bend over, and they can use the sturdy surface as a push-off point to back that thing up into their man. You don’t need to limit yourselves to walls, though. If you’re feeling adventurous, doors, cars and low railings can all fill the wall’s supporting role.

The key to having great overweight sex is to get creative. Sex positions for overweight people are all about optimizing the angle of attack, so don’t be afraid to modify these sex tips by lifting a leg or swinging your hips to find the path of least resistance. You should also mix things up with regular intermissions of oral sex and a good helping of the Lelo Soraya or other accessories.

That does it for this week’s article, but check back next week for even more sex tips and talk. In the meantime, check out the great sale we’re having on all of our vibrators. They’re sure to drive women of every shape and size wild, and now they’re more affordable than ever.

 

 


 

All You Ever Wanted To Know About Vaginal Orgasms (but were afraid to ask)

Sure, we all love orgasms, but do we really understand them? For men, there’s not that much to know – a little repetitive motion will pretty much always result in a few seconds of dopamine-flooded ecstasy and a strong desire to take a nap afterwards. Women’s bodies, on the other hand, are a bit more complicated. In order for a woman to climax, she needs to be stimulated in way that often goes above and beyond simple penetration – and that’s where sex toys come in.

If you’ve visited an adult toy store recently – such as, say, Paris Intimates – you’ve certainly noticed that there’s a staggering variety of dildos, vibrators and other sex toys available to women. This is because there are actually several different types of orgasms a woman can have, and many ways to help women reach a specific climax. So, depending on whether you want to achieve a clitoral or vaginal orgasm, you might find yourself having to decide between a Lelo Siri and a Lelo Soraya. Confused? Then let’s take a closer look at the three types of female orgasm.

Penetrative Orgasms

Penetrative (or vaginal) orgasms occur when the inside of the vagina is stimulated by a continuous movement or touching. This can also be known as a G-spot orgasm, in reference to the bundle of nerves in the back of the vaginal canal that Ernst Grafenberg first described. Climax is nearly always the result when the G-spot is properly stimulated.
But don’t be cheap here, guys. Although most men like to think that their penis is the ideal tool to help a woman achieve a vaginal orgasm, this is just not the case. A vaginal orgasm requires a lot of motion, but it also takes spot-on placement. If you’ve ever wondered why vibrators like the Lelo Gigi don’t look like exact replicas of a penis, it’s because they’re not supposed to. Quality vibrators have a curve or contour that lets them accurately excite the G-spot every time – something the penis just wasn’t designed to do. And if you want to be sure to set off a woman’s G-spot, a vibrator will do something that a penis just can’t. (Unless you want to try plugging yourself into a wall outlet, which we don’t recommend at all.)

Ladies, if you’ve been having trouble achieving vaginal orgasms so far, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been missing the mark. Ditch your molded dildos and try out a vibrator made with you in mind. You’ll see that the difference is mind-blowing.

Clitoral Orgasms

As many women have already discovered, climaxing doesn’t actually require penetration. The clitoris, for those not in the know, is the little bean-shaped organ at the top of the vagina that serves as the female body’s most sensitive erogenous zone. Containing twice the number of nerve endings as the tip of a penis, the clitoris can induce orgasms that are two times as intense as those achieved through vaginal stimulation, and with much less effort. In fact, the clitoris is so sensitive that stimulating it is the only way many women are able to climax at all.

While rubbing, licking and body contact are all tried-and-true methods of inducing a clitoral orgasm, the most efficient way for a woman to get herself off is by stimulating herself with intense and concentrated vibrations, like the kind provided by clitoral massagers.

These small, egg-shaped vibrators, also known as “pocket rockets,” are designed to hit the clit with better vibrations than the Beach Boys could have ever imagined. Unlike vibrators, which have to be long enough to hit the G-spot, clitoral stimulators like the Lelo Siri are made short and squat so that they’re easy to use with one hand while providing the little organ with the maximum possible amount of vibrating surface area.

If you can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation – or if you just need something that’s easily concealable when traveling – one of these little monsters is definitely the way to go.

The Dual Orgasm

If a woman is able to orgasm during sexual intercourse, it’s usually the result of simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. In fact, a pretty intense climax is possible when a woman or her partner gives attention to both. Guys, if you’ve ever wondered why some women can only come when they’re “on top,” it’s because that position provides the best angle for penetration while also allowing her to rub her clitoris against your pelvic bone.

With this notion of vaginal and clitoral teamwork in mind, many sex toy manufacturers have released vibrators that stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot. Toys like the space-age Lelo Soraya or the famous Rabbit vibe from “Sex and the City” provide deep vibration as well as a jutted knob designed to give your clitoris some TLC. Because of their versatility, these vibrators are the sex toys of choice for many women. If you’re curious about the power of a dual orgasm, they’re definitely something to investigate.

Although there are thousands of vibrators, dildos and other sex toys out there to choose from, the only way to know which one is best for you is to know your body. If you enjoy vaginal orgasms, go with the Lelo Gigi. If clitoral stimulation really gets you wild, buy the more affordable Lelo Siri. And if you want the best of both worlds, go with a dual threat like the Lelo Soraya.

If you’ve followed our guide and you feel ready to pick out the best toy for your orgasm, then sift through our inventory today. Modesty might be a virtue, but we’re not ashamed to say that we’ve got the best variety of sex toys on the web, and at Paris Intimates, you’ll have no trouble finding the perfect little tool for you.

As part of our Safe Sex initiative, you can enter “SafeSex” into the coupon code box at checkout to get $5 off of any purchase $35 or more. We’ll even include a free Safe Sex Kit featuring a condom and bottle of lube with your order. So browse around, and have fun, because that’s what it’s all about! Just remember to enter the discount code when you’re checking out.

 

 


 

Sex Tips: How to Make a Better Sex Tape

The only thing we love more than sex is making movies of ourselves having it. Since the invention of the “record” button, loving couples, friends-with-benefits and dozens of celebrities have been filming themselves getting frisky for the camera, and if we’re to judge by the amount of leaked videos on the Internet, the trend isn’t slowing down any time soon. If you’ve finally talked that special someone into taking the plunge and getting steamy with you in front of that little red light, here are a few sex tips you can use to make sure that your next home movie is a real blockbuster:

Use the Right Camera. If you’re going to properly document your amorous adventures, you need the right gear for the job. Your camera should be easy to operate with one hand and should include an adjustable viewfinder so that you can monitor those creatively angled shots. While an HD camera is a must for lovers that seek near-professional quality video, you don’t need to break the bank on top-of-the-line equipment. You can pick up a quality mini HD camera at most electronics stores for less than $300.

Light It Up. Cameras require a lot of light to capture an image, so make sure you’ve got several sources on hand before starting your shoot. If you’re filming in the bedroom, turn on the overhead lights as well as the bedside lamps, and don’t be afraid to take portable lights with you to other locations. After all, it’s better to make the neighbors wonder why there are lamps in the backyard than it is to have your garden scene end up a dark, grainy mess. Worried about your complexion? You can soften the brightness by using thin paper lampshades – or just use some editing software.

Get Ready for Your Close-Up. Let this sink in: you’re about to be naked on camera. While you might not usually groom yourself before sex, now’s a good time to start, because a stray back hair or wayward pimple will definitely steal the spotlight from an otherwise steamy scene. Shower, shave and trim yourself up like you would if you were going to be in an actual movie, and don’t be afraid to ask your co-star to give you a once-over before hitting the “record” button. If you’re totally comfortable with your body before filming, it will be a lot easier to get into the movie when you finally sit down to watch it.

Loosen Up. It’s not uncommon for new movie stars to get camera-shy before the big shoot, but you shouldn’t let your nerves show on camera. A sex tape is steamiest when the stars are able to let their hair down and really get wild with one another. Try having a few drinks before filming to calm you down and lower your inhibitions – just make sure that all of the equipment still works, if you know what we mean.

Get Creative. Watching a 20-minute sex session shot from one fixed spot isn’t fun for anybody, so get creative with your camera. Shoot from different angles, and take turns filming so that you get both points of view – and don’t forget to change positions often. Incorporating some sexy accessories never hurts, either. Our Lelo vibrators will most definitely change the way you think about props.

Hide The Evidence. Although sex tapes might be the hottest thing since five-alarm chili, a leaked recording of your amorous adventure can have a huge impact on your career and reputation – just ask Colin Farrell, Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton. In order to avoid seeing your private parts turn up on the Internet, make sure to never – we repeat, never – make copies of your sex tape, and always keep the original video somewhere safe and secure. And if you and your co-star ever break up, then destroy any evidence of the two of you being all naked together. That’s just too much power to risk putting into the wrong hands.

New advances in recording technology have made it easier to film and produce steamy bedroom programming than ever before, so there are no more excuses for subpar sex tapes. You’ve now got all the information you need to turn your next home movie into the hottest film of the year. Just remember to loosen up, lighten up, and throw in a Lelo vibrator every once in a while to keep things interesting.

Come back next week for even more sex tips, sex toy reviews and all-around naughtiness.

 

 


 

Sex Tips – 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes, Part 2

Last month we presented the first five of ten mistakes people commonly make in the bedroom, and now we’re back to finish off the list (no pun intended). We hope you’ve used your time off to study, because the faux pas we discussed last month are mere child’s play compared to the final five mistakes on the list.

That’s right, you heard us: it’s not just about wayward fingers and stinky crotches any more. Without further ado, we’re proud to present “10 Common Bedroom Mistakes, part 2” and the helpful sex tips to remedy them:

6. All for Me, None for You. Nobody likes a selfish lover. That’s why it’s important to return the favors – especially the oral ones. Nothing kills the chance for another hookup like a lover who’s unwilling to pull their own weight in bed. After all, didn’t they teach you that sharing is caring in grade school? If your sex is already a one-way street, try opening another lane with a toy both partners can enjoy at once, like the Lelo Bo. It vibrates for both of you, so everyone wins.

7. Too Drunk = No Spunk. Alcohol may be a great social lubricant, but too much of it can make sex tougher than leather. It dehydrates the body (which makes it difficult for ladies to get wet) while severely numbing physical sensation and inhibiting the ability to get erect, a condition commonly known as “whiskey dick.” Sure, you might think you’re Casanova stumbling through the front door with a pretty young thing on your arm, but we can assure you that two hours of desperate, sandpapery humping isn’t going to get anyone off.

Now, we’re not saying you shouldn’t drink before sex. In fact, sometimes a beer or two beforehand can help a man who “jumps the gun” last longer. But if you’re planning on getting laid after the bars you shouldn’t pound rum and Cokes like you’re a star in “The Hangover.”

8. Not Even Porn Stars Have Sex Like Porn Stars. It’s easy to watch porn and believe that the actors are having the best sex of their lives – because that’s what they make it sound like. It’s even easier to think that incorporating a few moves you saw online into your own bedroom will drive your lover wild.

Well, we have bad news for you: porn stars are actors. They don’t bend themselves into all those wild positions because it feels good – they do it to give the camera the best view of the action. After all, how many women actually like getting loads blown all over their face? Exactly. And you can bet that the percentage of ladies out there who appreciate “The Piledriver” isn’t much higher.

In a best-case scenario, trying to position yourself like a porn star will get old after a few thrusts, and in the worst case you’ll just end up spraining something. Take our sex tips to heart. Do what feels good for you, not what other people pretend to enjoy.

9. Love Means Never Having to Say “Touch Me There.” If you’re not having the best sex of your life, it’s not too late – you can get there with a little effort. All too often, people settle for mediocre lovemaking because they’re afraid to tell their partner what they really want in bed. Unless you’re banging a fortune teller, chances are good that your lover isn’t psychic, so don’t be afraid to give them some direction. Everyone is different, and what might feel good for some people may be a turnoff for others. So be open and honest. Communicate your desires to your partner. He (or she) won’t hate you for it.

10. Wait, what’s Foreplay? Guys, we’re looking at you – but ladies, listen too. Forgetting the foreplay is absolutely the most common and egregious mistake you can make when having sex. Men might turn on like a disposable lighter, but women heat up slowly, like ovens. Trying to have sex before your partner is ready is essentially asking her to get excited about a third-degree internal friction burn.

But a healthy amount of foreplay can make the sex exponentially better for men, too. There’s a whole body out there to explore, and you should take the time to do it. Play with nipples, nibble on earlobes and lick things you don’t normally lick. Penetration should be the absolute last step in an elaborately fun process. If you want to get creative, buy a Lelo Bo and touch your partner with it before slipping it on.

That does it for the 10 most common bedroom mistakes. Hopefully you’ll now be a little wiser, a little wetter and a little more aware of yourself the next time you jump in the sack. Follow these simple sex tips, and the next time someone talks about you at a cocktail party they’ll be telling everyone how amazing you are instead of laughing at you behind your back.

 

 


 

The Top 8 Sex Columnists in America

You know, Salt-N-Pepa once said, “Let’s talk about sex.” It’s a great idea. It’s always been. But we do that a lot here, so now it’s time to talk about something completely different: the people who talk about sex. Why? Because today, there are more people writing sex columns than ever before, and they’re all very, very interesting people.

These brave journalists sometimes work in swanky magazine offices out of NYC. Other times, they’re operating out of their dorm rooms at super-cool universities across America. Wherever they happen to be, they’re giving advice and sharing their sexual experiences with an increasingly interested audience. Their often hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking insights have helped people everywhere to become better lovers and significant others, so we think it’s time we officially recognized them.

Paris Intimates is proud to present our list of the Top 8 sex columnists in America:

1) The Preacher’s Daughter – The Cornell Daily Sun. Cornell’s student newspaper has been running a thoughtful, poignant sex advice column every other Thursday for the past six years. While the title of the column and its pseudonymous author change every semester, the quality does not. In 2011, the Preacher’s Daughter lived up to her implicitly lurid moniker by pushing her “Decent Exposure” column to new levels of intimacy. From sharing the story of her first orgasmic wet dream to recalling drunken one-night-stands, The Preacher’s Daughter wasn’t afraid to “go there,” and she went often.

 

Julia Allison

2) Julia Allison – NBC New York. Working under the pen name Julia Baugher, Allison made a name for herself by publishing a weekly sex and dating column for The Georgetown Hoya. Although “Sex on the Hilltop” and its enthusiasm for blowjobs proved too saucy for the Jesuit school (which fired Allison before her senior year), the column drew so much national attention that Allison was picked up as a correspondent for NBC New York, where she continues to write sex columns for MSNBC and The Washington Post.

3) Cait “Miss Information” Robinson – Nerve. Nerve’s resident sex and dating columnist is known for her outspokenness and blunt honesty. Every week, Robinson answers the questions many of us are too ashamed to ask with articles like “My boyfriend’s best friend is coming between us – am I allowed to kill her?” No topic is off limits, and the advice is always good. If you need to learn the etiquette of dating an older woman or the best way to dump your overweight significant other, Miss Information’s got you covered.

Amber Madison

4) Amber Madison – Seventeen Magazine. Amber Madison is another sex columnist that got her start writing for a college newspaper. After graduating from Tufts University, where she penned a popular sex and dating column, Madison published the successful book “Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality.” And she’s just finished her third book. “Are All Guys Assholes?” will be released by Penguin later this year. These days, besides being a pretty cool author, she lectures and continues to serve as the staff sex columnist for Seventeen Magazine.

5) Steph Auteri – The Frisky. From cuddle parties to S&M threesomes, if it involves private parts, then Steph Auteri has probably done it – or she at least knows someone who has. What else would we expect from The Frisky’s resident intimate relations expert? In addition to covering the usual problems afflicting couples in the bedroom, her column, “Sex with Steph,” is a beginner’s guide to the sex we’ve always dreamed about but have been afraid to try – things like threesomes and rough love.

 

Lena Chen

6) Lena Chen – Sex and the Ivy. Chen made waves with her “bleeding-heart nympho’s guide to Harvard life,” Sex and the Ivy. The controversial blog garnered national attention for its garish accounts of sex, depression and undergraduate life at America’s most prestigious institution. Even though she graduated, Chen still writes reflective entries for Sex and the Ivy. She’s also a regular contributor to the Boston Globe Magazine and Hustler, and she’s the founder of the blog known as The Chicktionary.

 

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright

7) Dr. Yvonne Fulbright – Cosmopolitan. A leading expert on sex and dating, Dr. Fulbright kick-started her career in journalism by providing thoughtful, intimate advice in the “Sexpert Tells All” column for NYU’s Washington Square News. Now the author of nine different books, including “The Best Oral Sex Ever” series, Dr. Fulbright serves as the resident sex columnist for the internationally popular Cosmopolitan. You can also find her insights at Foxnews.com, SexualHealth.com and in Women’s Health.

 

 

Francisco Ramirez

8) Francisco Ramirez – MTV’s “Staying Alive” Initiative. Back in the late 90s, before sex advice columns were a staple in university newspapers (and before anyone had even heard of “Sex and the City”), a University of California student named Francisco Ramirez wrote a column called “Sex on Tuesday” for The Daily Californian. The topics ranged from sexual health to sexual etiquette, and while Ramirez tended to go for graphic content (like many of the great columnists listed here), he gave pretty good advice. Today, the column is a staple of the paper’s online presence. Ramirez has moved on and now offers his advice through MTV’s Staying Alive initiative as well as to passers-by during the free public sessions he holds in New York City’s parks.

The way America views sex is changing. It’s being discussed, celebrated and even practiced more openly than ever. We owe much of that to these eight pioneering sex columnists. By opening up about sex at their university papers, they have helped usher in a new era of respect and insight towards the art of love. If you have any questions – or confusions, or frustrations – about sex, then turn to one of these columnists today.

Trust us, they know all about it.

 

 


 

$50 Giveaway

Diva Taunia is giving away a $50 Gift Certificate to Paris Intimates!

 

 

 


 

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